I walked down memory lane twice today. But these are beautiful memories that I hold dear in my heart and don’t mind revisiting

One of my ex-classmates from secondary school days sent those who were still in his contact list a secondary school class photo. I think I still have this photo somewhere in one of my albums. He scanned it in and emailed us.

Looking at the picture brings back memories of my schooling days. I remember we were the first batch to start wearing long pants. It certainly came after years of lobbying by the seniors. Goodbye hairy legs and welcome gentlemen debonair you would think. But personally, I still preferred the shorts we wore up to Secondary Two. After all, that uniform made us unique. Besides the length of the shorts, the shirt also underwent a change in both design. The once pure white shirt not sported a blue collar within. And who can forget the belt…which after a while got rusty?

The best thing of course is not only remembering all these details about the school uniform but scrutinising the photo and trying my best to recognise the faces. During our last class reunion, I had some difficulty recognising some of my ex-classmates as they had ‘grown up’ differently. The once skinny ones became puffed up while the once quiet ones were now chatty. I for one had changed beyond anyone’s recognition. Hahahaha…Almost all could not recognise me.

Try guessing which one of the following boys below is me? Happy guessing…

Maris Stella High Sec 3 Class Photo

Then later in the afternoon, I hopped over to the meditation centre to collect the Nepal DVD. Yes, I know it’s long overdue as the trip was in Mar 2008. But better late than never as it’s one of the outstanding items on my to-do list for 2009 before the year comes to a close.

As one of my tour-mates was a professional photographer, he took numerous shots of us during the 11 day trip and subsequently compressed some of the shots into a DVD.

Nepal kickstarted my new life. And when I saw myself in the DVD saying ‘namaste’ with my painted face, I cannot help but recall the warmth of the Nepalese, beauty of the environment and the Holi festival. Given the opportunity, I want to return to Nepal again.

   
Getting splashed with colourful powder during the Holi Festival at Nepal

Who says living in a time warp is detrimental to progress? It’s good to bask in the golden halo and recall the good old days sometimes

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Michael Jackson is dead.

When news of his death arising from cardiac arrest spread like wildfire across the globe, half the world is in mourning and the other half heaves a sigh of relief.

There never has been any artiste more successful in the history of the music world than Michael Jackson. Love him or hate him, one cannot deny his brilliance and contributions to modern pop. He was the one who ignited the imaginations of millions with his by now legendary moonwalk and other slick moves. Growing up listening to his songs, his death is like a good friend suddenly departing without bidding a last goodbye.

If ‘Beat It’,  ‘Bad’, ‘Smooth Criminal’ and other rock infused anthems are what people will remember him for, then I must add to his legacy his sentimental songs like ‘The Girl Is Mine’ and ‘I Just Can’t Stop Loving You’…not forgetting his other songs written for children and worthy causes like the fight against poverty and the earth such as ‘You Are Not Alone’,  ‘Heal The World’ and ‘Earth Song’.

As fans, we cannot help but mourn the loss of the King of Pop – the one who won an unprecedented 19 Grammy Awards, 40 Billboard Awards, 22 American Music Awards, 13 Guinness World Records, 13 MTV Awards, 12 World Music Awards and 7 Brit Awards. That’s 197 major awards in his entire career! He is without any doubt the most successful music icon of all times, selling more than 61 million albums in the United States alone.

Besides his music, his fashion sense too has endeared himself to his followers. Even till date, I still see men wearing white socks with black loafers. The Michael Jackson era still isn’t quite over yet for them. And never do away with the military inspired suits and jackets. They are all in the name of his regal fashion.

With his death also comes the half of the world who heaves a sigh of relief. At last, they won’t hear of yet another Michael Jackson linked scandal of child molestation ever again. So did he sexually abuse the young boys he invited to stay overnight at his Neverland ranch? If he didn’t, why did he agree to settle the various cases out of court? In one particular case involving the 13 year old boy named Jordan Chandler, he even reportedly paid US$23 million to close the issue. This is testimony that he did it, isn’t it? And how many more unreported cases were there exactly? Beats me.

And there will never be another sensational headline that screams bad nose job or plastic surgery gone horribly wrong. Remember those days when Michael Jackson looked more ghoulish than glamorous after his face lifts, nose jobs and whitening skin peels? He looked just like Bubbles, his favourite ape pet he used to keep.

Perhaps the man is too much an entertainer that whatever he does is lapped up with fervor by the media. After all, he is the King of Pop. And what is an entertainer who does not entertain? Michael Jackson more than lived up to that label. In fact, his entire life was like a circus and the Peter Pan of Pop just refuses to grow up. If not, how can one explain the pains he took to build Neverland, his 1133 ha ranch cum private zoo complete with elephants, giraffes and other critters? Record has it that he spent US$250, 000 a month in payroll costs employing 50 full-time employees just for this purpose.

And if you want to attract hordes of media attention, just take a leaf from Michael Jackson’s book. Dangle your child over a balcony for your fans to see.

Yet regardless of whether you love him or hate him, Michael Jackson leaves a legacy which can never be duplicated by anyone. He transcends everything and is larger than life. If Barrack Obama is the first black American President in history, then Michael Jackson must be given credit for bringing black people into the mainstream and being the first black American to be adored in music history. There is no one who has not heard of Michael Jackson. He is this famous, or infamous if you are on the other side of the fence.

Now that Michael Jackson is gone, the next question on everyone’s lips is who gets custody of his three kids and fortune. But this is a question for his family and ex-wives to tussle among themselves.

In the hearts of millions of fans, he was already elevated to that of a living god cultural icon as his creative music genres, sleek dance moves, fashionable dress sense and high-pitched voice were a constant inspiration.

But despite all his genius, talent, fame and wealth, Michael Jackson still wasn’t invincible. He could not attain immortality.

For now, only one fact remains. Michael Jackson is dead.

Goodbye Michael, you will be missed. But I am not alone.

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Enjoying the air-con in the foodcourt I was when my eyes, after focusing on the meal in front of me, decided to look around the premise. No sooner did I raise my head when I caught sight of it.

Even from a far distance from where I was seated, there immediately was a feeling of familarity. It was an emotion I didn’t need much triggering. And at that very instant, the floodgates of my deepest recesses seemed to open by themselves, bringing forth memories of the past.

I walked towards it.

My heart skipped two beats when I saw it in its full glory. Then I was vividly transported back to my childhood days. Walking back in time, I heard Dad humming the very same Hokkien childhood rhyme 天黑黑 he liked to sing. Growing up through these years, I never did once forget the catchy tune and the cheeky lyrics on how the 2 protagonists in the rhyme – Grandfather and Grandmother fought over a wok. Of course the words on the screen were an abridged version.

Nonetheless, it was a nostalgic walk down memory lane for me. More importantly, an important reminder of my Hokkien roots.

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Each family is unique and self-defining, an exotic culture with a language, a style, a rhythm unlike any other’s. What we experience shapes who we are – and who we will become.

The family is a living, pulsing organism, continually changing and continually reinventing itself. Its existence is an inspiration – for our greatest acts of love, our worst nightmares, and our finest dreams.

We cannot choose the family we wish to be born into. We cannot choose who our parents nor sibilings are. We just have to make the best of it. And surprising, we still manage to.

Thus when I heard that J was permanently estranged from his parents, it came as quite a shock to me. He doesn’t even contact nor talk to them anymore.

Yes, we don’t always see eye to eye with our parents. Yes, they may restrict our movements or even lay curfews. Yes, they may nag at us. I don’t deny that even in my relatively small family, quarrels are still inevitable. But at the end of the day, I still love my parents because they gave me flesh and blood. They loved me in their own way. They brought me up. They gave me a decent education. I still love my parents no matter how imperfect they may be.

There’s a recent touching television commercial commissioned by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth & Sports (MCYS) titled ‘Funeral’ which looks at relationships in a different light, through a woman at her husband’s funeral.

Like the protagonist, I remember Dad not because he was perfect. Rather, I remember him for his imperfections that made him perfect.

It is an open secret that Dad snores. And his snores are exceptionally loud and disturbing. I had to contend with his snores each night. But strangely, I became used to hearing them each night as the years went by. In fact, I would press my ears next to the wall to hear the rippling effect from the next room. Dad’s snores were just like the incoming waves rushing to hug the shores.

So what if Dad’s snores every night were more than a earful and could even penetrate the walls of my room next door? To me, they had grown to become a beautiful symphony.

I remember Dad for watching television and providing a live commentary at the same time. Yes, it too was irritating initially. Why couldn’t Dad just keep his comments to himself? It was his unique way of letting his creative juices flow and rewrite the lousy script or build up the tension. And it also served to enhance the bond between father and son each time we watched television together and discussed the serial unfolding.

I remember Dad for reading the newspapers aloud. Who needed a newscaster at home? His loud and booming voice was a foil for my peace and quiet. Only much later did I realise he was attempting to speak better English and this was his way of learning each day.

When Dad’s illness was at his worst, his snores each night, his live commentaries and his read-alouds were comforting signs. More importantly, it was a reminder that he was still alive. And I was grateful he was still alive. I always had this fear that should I drift off to sleep, I wouldn’t live to hear him again. Some years later, I was right. My Dad was no more.

At the end of it all, it’s really these small, minute things that I remember about my Dad. Like in the commercial script “the little imperfections that make them perfect for (me)”.

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没有你的第1天，本以为我会很潇洒，但始终还是放不下。。。我不甘心就这样结束，所以我一直拖着。毕竟我付出了我的真心。

我爱了。。。我痛了。。。我喜了。。。我悲了。。。现在我累了。

也许是我们有缘无份吧。同年同月生虽然很浪漫，但它不代表天长地久。连算命都劝我们早日分手，免得接下来的日子又再次闹别扭。

你说过我们是属于两个不同世界的人，根本就很难在一起。
我回答说就因为不同， 所以更要在一起。

你说过你不会松开我的手，除非是我先开口。
我回答说我要我们永远在一起，当时肯定是被爱昏了头。

你说过会为我改变，知错能改、善莫大焉。
我回答说当我有一天不再想你，那就让我转身离去。

你说过再给彼此一次机会好吗？一切从头好吗？
我也回答说点到为此，再纠缠也是没意思。

此刻再多说什么也是没用的了。从当初的不甘心，不放手到最后还是我先开口。

我们分手吧！还你我自由。祝福你能找到一个比我更适合你的人。

和你在一起的首六个月，我真的很开心。虽然后来的日子不再是风平浪静，但种种的不愉快，让我从中学习到做人的道理。谢谢你在我人生旅途上留下这段刻骨铭心的回忆。
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没有你的第30天，我不知道是否早已习惯没有你在我身边的日子。说真的，我现在居然连一刻都没想念过你。那感觉好像又回到了单身的美好时光！生活再也没有晴天霹雳、没有要我收拾的烂摊子，只有一切平静。那才是我真正的快乐。

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Truth is I’m excited for two reasons. First – it’s my first time doing a live countdown. Yes, I know that sounds lame as all my countdowns were either spent at home or in bed. Second – it’s our first countdown together which makes it extra memorable.

As we walked over to Marina Bay, it dawned upon me that we were not alone. Indeed, there were so many people here…all were trying to find the best seats or standing space, waiting patiently for the fireworks to start. Like them, we too were searching for our vantage viewing point. What is a countdown without the aid of fireworks to usher in the new year right?

In an old blog posting, I wrote about how the fireworks would light up the dark sky in fistful of colours, providing the perfect setting for lovers to whisper sweet nothings, pledge their love and just enjoy each other’s company.

One second past midnight, the first series of fireworks was launched into the sky, drawing breathes of oohs and aahs from the spectators. We too, were literally dazzled blind by the colourful lights on display which followed one after another in succession. Green, red, purple, orange, blue, gold…they came in all hues and shades of colours and more. Needless to say, all the spectators were spellbound. So were we.

Recalling the same blog posting, I also noted that no matter how amazingly beautiful the fireworks were, they didn’t last for more than eight seconds each. Indeed, when the fireworks are shot into the sky, that’s when they explode in colour. And that’s when they dazzle most. The ninth second after, another firework of a different colour assumes its position.

The fireworks display is a direct parallel of our life journey. We never know when we are going to leave this world. It could be today, tomorrow or the week after. Life is short. It is too short to be remembered for the quarrels we had with others, the arguments we initiated, the misunderstandings we wished we had cleared up. Looking on the brighter side of things, life too comprises some beautiful memories – of the lives of the others whom we have made a difference to, of the love and warmth we have shined into your hearts.

Life is short. Our youth will waste away in the years to come. No matter how strikingly photogenic you may be, you are still no match for Father Time. Everything flies by in the twinkle of an eye.

Just like the fireworks has outlived its beauty, when I am no longer the current me, when my looks have faded away with time, when my responses have become retarded to a tenth of its current capability, when my figure starts to give way, will you still love me tomorrow?

I don’t ask for much. I only ask for someone like you to hold my hand and walk with me till the end of time. I know I have been fortunate since finding you. I know I will be fine.

Here’s wishing all a Happy 2009!

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I really can’t believe 2008 is fast coming to an end. It’s the second last day of 2008 today. Summing up, this has been a very good year for me for these 8 fabulous reasons. Cheers!!

1. Spiritual - I found myself spiritually. 2008 will be remembered for the introduction of meditation into my life. Mediation has made me calmer and helped me become more steady when handling difficult people and situations. I have learnt to find peace within myself and come to accept people as they are. Kudos!

2. Health- My health record this year was excellent. Thinking back, I only took MCs on those several occasions when I really couldn’t find the motivation to go to work as a salaried employee. Other than that, my health was great. I didn’t fall sick as often as I did. Superman!

3. Family – This was the year I moved to my current place after staying at my old house ever since I was born. I love my new place as I designed the upper floor myself. Yes, the packing to move and unpacking after shifting in were tough and I had very little hours of sleep then. But thinking back, it was a move that was well worth it. I finally have my own toy museum, study and walk-in wardrobe! Yeah!

4. Love -  I found the someone I’ve always been waiting for. I know I have been fortunate. When you have found the love of the lifetime, every second together seems never enough. I always wish the weekdays would fly by quickly so that we can be together. All the love duets in the world seem redundant as we have already found our own anthem. Smooch!

5. Personal Development - I know some would say I am mad but I spent quite a lot of money attending personal development programmes. Glad I went through them as I really learnt a lot in the areas of training, business, self-belief and finance. What’s more, I have befriended some really amazing people who continue to motivate me when the going gets tough and celebrate with me when I overcome challenges. Aho!

6. Physique- Overall, I’m bigger now than when I started off in the beginning of the year. I can feel it just by looking into the mirror. Happy is probably an understatement. All those hours of iron pumping and tubs of protein shakes must have proven their worth. I am physically stronger and can bench/lift more too. I’m especially proud of my chest, shoulders and delts. Hee!

7. Investments – I started to do my own investments, without the advice of any so-called experts or gurus. In fact, it’s not that difficult as I figured it out. All you need is practice, patience and independent thinking. This will be a trait I will carry over to 2009. Chi ching!

8. Travel - I had an amazing trip to Nepal in March, followed by a shopping spree to Bangkok in May. I enjoyed the warmth of the Nepalese and thoroughly soaked in the heavenly surroundings. In Bangkok, it was perhaps my most relaxed trip as I did nothing but eat, shop, massage and gym. Leading a tai-tai life? You bet!

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I made a trip down to the lawyer’s this morning to hand over the keys. The keys to the old house.

One adjective summarises my inner most feelings. Poignant.

The house holds too many memories for me. My life memories in fact.

Aunt H texted me at night to ask if I was going to write a poem.

I said I would.

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Sometimes, words are just superfluous. Pictures, they say, speak a thousand words. Here are some final memories of the place I’ve called home all along until today.

These are the things I won’t be bringing along with me to the new home…Farewell, goodbye, adios, 再见, sayonara, ciao, adieu, selamat tinggal…

Climb 18 flights of stairs to reach my abode – good exercise

The terrazzo flooring greets you. I love walking on its cool surface.

These three lights have kept me company since my thesis days…

My retro green curtains in the bedroom

Iron grills in the living room

View from my balcony

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Today’s my last day staying in the Kovan neighbourhood. Gosh, it’s been so so many years already. I really can’t bear to leave

It’s so sad to leave the familiar behind & start afresh in a new neighbourhood. But I guess nothing in this world can ever be constant.

I’m moving on. Thanks for the memories, Kovan!

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