Forgiving and Forgetting
‘To forgive and forget’ is perhaps one of the most common phrases heard. But it is also one of the dumbest phrases.
There is a fundamental difference between forgiving and forgetting. It’s really easier said than done. How can we forgive someone and then forget what he did? That’s technically not possible.
Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. We often say we can forget the hurt, injustice, pain and bitter memories of the past. Yes, our conscious mind forgets. But unfortunately some remnants still remain in our subconscious. We just need to encounter a similar incident in the future and instantly, it triggers the same scent, same feeling and same thought. We recall the past hurt, injustice, pain and bitter memories of the past. It doesn’t take quantum physics to explain this.
Simply put, a healed memory is not a deleted memory. It’s just a dormant memory archived in our file database, waiting to be recalled one day. Just like a concubine banished to the cold palace who might one day regain the favour of the emperor and reinstate herself.
If we cannot even truly forgive, how can we even speak of forget? Unless we re-programme our mind to completely erase the past can we talk of forgiving. Just like a PC needs to be thoroughly formatted to destroy all the data inherent.
Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget only creates a new way to reinforce the past and help us remember even more vividly. We have so many anchors in life which either serve to excite us or irritate us. When all these anchors are combined, we feel the full impact of it.
I am not so noble. I cannot forgive and forget. If I say I can, I’m only deceiving myself.
