In all of us reside a biased judgement that exists because of our past experience, conditioning and belief system. This biased judgement is called a pre-conceived notion.

Before a mother hits a son with a cane, does the mother ask the son why he thinks he deserves to be punished? No, she will punish first. Then she will ask the explanation later. The explanation, even if it does come, is futile and a tad too late. The son has already been hit.

Many a times in life, we ask others for an explanation. But even before we listen to the other side of the story, we have already pre-concluded for ourselves in our minds the outcome that is to follow. Because of our pre-conceived notions, no one can possibly be given a fair trial. As the judge, we have already sentenced the person before pronouncing his guilty. Just ask yourselves – is this fair?

If you have already fast forwarded the images in your mind to the final scene you want to see, then why bother asking for an explanation? So that you can be Mr Nice Guy and pretend to uphold justice?

Because of our pre-conceived notions, others will always be in the wrong. They will always be not good enough. They will always appear to have questionable characteristics. They will always have some dark secrets to hide. They will always be untrustworthy.  Because only when others are lousy, down and out are we portrayed as magnificent, mighty and high.

It is because of this pre-conceived notion that many relationships, unfortunately, do not come to fruition. When one half of a couple starts to have pre-conceived notions of the other, that’s when the quarrel starts. Just because you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle instead of from bottom up, I label you as a ’spender’ instead of a ’saver’. But it’s just been my habit. That’s all!

We should all learn to start on a clean slate. Who does not have a past? The important thing is to learn the lessons from the past and move on in life. What is the point of revisiting the past baggages and reopening the old wounds just to reinflict pain and sorrow in others? By doing so, we are just being selfish and self-centered.

Recently, C asked me about some issues. After saying what I had to say, C told me this was not the message she received. In other words, I gave her a different version. As she did not hear the version she wanted to hear, she naturally became upset. I can’t help it if C is upset. After all, C asked for my viewpoints and I gave them to her. Whether or not she accepts them as the truth depends on how she has tuned her acceptance bandwidth. If she has switched on her pre-conceived notions, then nothing I say or do will convince her otherwise and be accepted as the truth. They will just be a bag of hot air. If so, then why bother asking me in the first place?

Someone looks like a criminal. He behaves like a criminal. He smells like a criminal. Therefore, he must be a criminal. That’s my pre-conceived notion channelling to me. If that someone is so “criminal” in nature, then why bother being in his company? You should instead be runnning away as far as you can so as to ensure maximum safety.

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