I really can’t believe 2008 is fast coming to an end. It’s the second last day of 2008 today. Summing up, this has been a very good year for me for these 8 fabulous reasons. Cheers!!

1. Spiritual - I found myself spiritually. 2008 will be remembered for the introduction of meditation into my life. Mediation has made me calmer and helped me become more steady when handling difficult people and situations. I have learnt to find peace within myself and come to accept people as they are. Kudos!

2. Health- My health record this year was excellent. Thinking back, I only took MCs on those several occasions when I really couldn’t find the motivation to go to work as a salaried employee. Other than that, my health was great. I didn’t fall sick as often as I did. Superman!

3. Family – This was the year I moved to my current place after staying at my old house ever since I was born. I love my new place as I designed the upper floor myself. Yes, the packing to move and unpacking after shifting in were tough and I had very little hours of sleep then. But thinking back, it was a move that was well worth it. I finally have my own toy museum, study and walk-in wardrobe! Yeah!

4. Love -  I found the someone I’ve always been waiting for. I know I have been fortunate. When you have found the love of the lifetime, every second together seems never enough. I always wish the weekdays would fly by quickly so that we can be together. All the love duets in the world seem redundant as we have already found our own anthem. Smooch!

5. Personal Development - I know some would say I am mad but I spent quite a lot of money attending personal development programmes. Glad I went through them as I really learnt a lot in the areas of training, business, self-belief and finance. What’s more, I have befriended some really amazing people who continue to motivate me when the going gets tough and celebrate with me when I overcome challenges. Aho!

6. Physique- Overall, I’m bigger now than when I started off in the beginning of the year. I can feel it just by looking into the mirror. Happy is probably an understatement. All those hours of iron pumping and tubs of protein shakes must have proven their worth. I am physically stronger and can bench/lift more too. I’m especially proud of my chest, shoulders and delts. Hee!

7. Investments – I started to do my own investments, without the advice of any so-called experts or gurus. In fact, it’s not that difficult as I figured it out. All you need is practice, patience and independent thinking. This will be a trait I will carry over to 2009. Chi ching!

8. Travel - I had an amazing trip to Nepal in March, followed by a shopping spree to Bangkok in May. I enjoyed the warmth of the Nepalese and thoroughly soaked in the heavenly surroundings. In Bangkok, it was perhaps my most relaxed trip as I did nothing but eat, shop, massage and gym. Leading a tai-tai life? You bet!

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How many of us have ever been in a situation where we are accused of doing something that we are innocent of?

Pointing fingers or hurling accusations is often the easiest way to create the much needed dramatic element in any relationship. It is far too easy to point the finger at someone rather than to take time to find out the truth. But sometimes, the truth doesn’t reveal itself until a much later time.

We are all impetus by nature. When something goes wrong, we will jump to conclusion that someone screwed it up. It must be that someone, never me. When we jump to conclusions blindly, it is inevitable that heated words are exchanged in that moment without considering the feeling of the other party. When the truth is revealed, we find it difficult to admit it was our mistake and apologise. This is probably the word has already been spoken, the person caned before realising it was all a mistake.

Even after the situation has passed and things seem to have returned to normalcy, those heated words exchanged will reside in the deeper recesses of the ‘accused’ and surface again in time to come. It is easier said than done to ‘forgive and forget’. One day, when another similar situation arises, it just helps to trigger the sensor inside our brains, unleashing the same pent-up emotions. Are we really that magnanimous as to totally forget all those hurtful words thrown at our face? I doubt so.

This is especially so when we, the innocent party, is being accused of some wrongdoing by our loved ones. It hurts so much more than being accused by some stranger or friend. The damage is irreparable and the scar forever imprinted in our heart and mind.

Till today, I still cannot forget the wastepaper basket which I burnt when I was a kid back in the ancestral home. Being young then, I knew I would get a good beating if I admitted doing it. So I chose to keep mum. But my parents, being more experienced in all form of the word, soon tracked down the culprit to me. Because I didn’t own up like George Washington did when he cut down his father’s favourite apple tree, I got a punishment twice as heavy. Henceforth, from that day onwards, whenever anything went missing or was spoilt, I was always the prime suspect. Even though I may really be innocent, I know it will be a Herculean task for me to prove otherwise.

And recently, someone told me this tale. Two lovers were having a tiff. The lady accused the guy of not loving her enough as he did nothing to parade her in front of his relatives and friends. She thought he was ashamed of her hideous appearance and thus was reluctant to include her in his circle of activities. When she kicked up a fuss, he explained. But she didn’t listen.

When the truth was finally revealed, she asked him why he had kept mum about the whole incident. Here she was jumping mad and wanting to tear his lungs out. And there he was acting as cool as a zen master. After the lady had said her piece, the guy gave this classic reply ”Even when I explained then, did you listen? No. And now do you still need me to publish our relationship in The Straits Times for you to hold up your head high?” Fortunately, she got his drift and peace resumed thereafter.

As a young boy, I loved to hear Grandma tell me stories. She is right after all. Before you accuse someone, always cool down and think it through first. Because if you don’t and start accusing immediately with your index finger, you have to contend with the other three fingers pointing back at you.

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It’s really good to see so many familiar faces again after a long while. This must be one of the best turnouts for our gatherings…ever….

Probably it’s because it’s Christmas season and everyone’s less occupied. Whatever the reason was, everyone wore a joyous smile on their face.

One at the main entrance of Sakura

Out of the six other guys who were present, only two were still studying. The rest of them had already graduated to working in the real society. Yes, a few voiced concerns about the financial crunch. But tonight’s not the time to talk of such heavy topics. Tonight is the night to have a jolly good time feasting and catching up on each other’s lives.

It was really walking down memory lane. More dirty secrets were unearthed and forcefully revealed over the course of dinner. When the ribbing came on, it came fast and furious. There was no holding back or fear of a brotherhood gone bad.

There was always a story teller, together with his other crew, who worked hard to spice up the plot. Then the victim would play ‘poor victim’ and make his best attempt to deny all wrongdoings or no-doings. But of course he was no match for the prowess of the company.

The mood was contagious as once one starts, one never really wants to stop. This applies to both the stories of the past and the food. I can’t remember how many slices of sashimi I ate, while being entertained, but it was certainly more than a plateful

One of my co-workers remarked that it would be almost unthinkable to speak on the same frequency in the past. I couldn’t agree more. There is no more hierarchy, rank and file to speak of now.

After all the fun and laughter, it was now time to exchange Christmas presents. Ok, for this, I’m particularly pleased as even the two guys who were game for ‘anything’ presents loved what they got. I bought them…hehehe…:)

After a very satisfying buffet dinner at Sakura

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I was almost knocked down by a cyclist today. For all too long, I’ve been unhappy with cyclists riding on the pedestrian pavements. And finally, my worst fears had to happen.

Walking out of the food stall with my hands ladden with the family’s lunch, I took a leisure stroll on the pavement and proceeded home.

No more than six steps had I walked when all of a sudden, I felt a gush of wind rush by me across my face. There he was riding at a fast pace and out from a corner alley onto my pavement.

Shocked, I retreated a step backward. Had I reacted a moment slower, my feet would have been cycled over and my face decorated with some cuts.

Recollecting my composure, I was now more angry than shocked. I did not hesitate to give him a dirty face and told him off. Instead of feeling sorry or a tad sheepish, he actually smiled back at me showing off his gleaming white teeth. What audacity!

I know he’s a foreign worker but excuse me, when you come to a new country, you have to assimilate the new culture and societal norms. These include the rules and regulations of your host country. You don’t go about living your old lifestyle in a new neighbourhood. That will not work. Imagine getting a caveman to live in Singapore. He will certainly not be walking around in banana leaves! That will be totally unacceptable.

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There he was seated at the round table outside the coffee shop. The same soulful pair of eyes, the same hairstyle, the same tanned skin. The only thing that changed was that he had put on weight. It was obvious for his face was now fleshy instead of athletic.

I did not expect to bump into him after so many years. Seventeen years ago, he borrowed my ‘Phantom of the Opera’ musical score to photocopy. But he never returned it. Initially, I thought he needed more time and did not bother to press him for it. As the weeks flew by and exam season came, I totally forgot about it. After I left school that year and wanted to look him up for the score, he had already changed his telephone number.

Thinking back, I should have camped outside his classroom to get back my score. Being one year my junior, he would still be reachable at school.

HYQ. I will never forget him. Even if he had turned to ashes, I would still be able to recognise him. Standing there transfixed, I thought of walking up to him and asking him to return the musical score. My musical score which was separated from me for the last seventeen years. After all, there’s nothing wrong to get back what’s rightfully mine. I could also have created a scene as he was with a girl, presumably his girlfriend or wife.

Having heard the devil’s views, it was now the angel’s turn. What’s the point of demanding the return of the musical score? Without it, I have still been able to live comfortably through these years. It’s not as if I needed it to survive. What’s the point of wanting it back now? For the restoration of pride? To reassert my rights? After all, it’s only a score. Why not let go of the wrong others have done me so that it no longer becomes a baggage?

With that, I felt an instant lightening of the load on my shoulders. Live and let live. I have decided. I walked away.

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It’s Christmas today and I can finally open my presents! Yeah!!

I’m most interested in this particular present. Let’s see…This is the second time I have seen such a huge carrier bag. I only have one comment – wow! It’s huge indeed.

Wonder what’s inside? Fret not…it will be unveiled slowly…

After peeping into the carrier bag, I saw a golden cardboard gift box inside…my sentiments? Beautiful! Love the colour…so royal…haha

Hmm…I should start guessing now. From the look and feel of it, I guess it’s a bag. The shape tells me so. And knowing me so well, I am a bag collector. Plus I know the giver of the gift well…

Alright. Yeah, I’m right. It’s a bag. A classy black Agnes B voyager bag. As the name suggests, I can use it for travelling or to the gym.

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As the bus travelled along, I thought to myself it was just going to be another normal journey for me getting from point A to B. After all, how more exciting can a bus ride get?

I sat in my seat in front (two seats away from the bus driver) and minded my own business as more passengers boarded the bus. It got pretty crowded at one stage. I was thanking my good fortune as I had boarded earlier and was lucky I got a seat.

As the bus cruised along the street, I thought I heard the bus driver speak. Initially, I thought he was talking to the passenger seated behind him. But no, he wasn’t. In fact, the bus driver was mumbling to himself. A mumble it may be, but it was still audible to be heard by me.

“Today raining day…drink too much water…need to go already…” 

No sooner had he finished his sentences when the bus suddenly stopped outside Sultan Mosque. No, it wasn’t a traffic red light stop. In fact, there was no traffic light at all.

The bus driver just parked the bus there along the pavement, opened the front door and rushed out.

Still trying to figure out what was happening, my eyes soon found the answer I needed. Scrawled on the dashboard of the bus were three lines written in blue marker pen.

1/2 way
toilet
12.43 – 2.45pm

‘Halfway toilet break’ announcement written on the dashboard of the bus

Very interesting…the bus driver had abandoned the bus load of passengers and ran off to the toilet inside the mosque!

I couldn’t help laughing when I sat there. Using my camera phone, I took a picture of the words written next to the CCTV camera. If you see carefully, you can actually see my reflection in the front mirror too…hehe

A quick time checked showed that the time was now 13.37pm. Wow…the bus driver really makes good his words of taking a halfway toilet break huh.

All my years of taking the public bus, this is the first time I have encountered such an incident! The bus driver probably couldn’t control his bladder anymore and had to release.

After he returned, the first thing he did was to erase the ‘1/2 way toilet’ words. I wonder when his next toilet break is.

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In all of us reside a biased judgement that exists because of our past experience, conditioning and belief system. This biased judgement is called a pre-conceived notion.

Before a mother hits a son with a cane, does the mother ask the son why he thinks he deserves to be punished? No, she will punish first. Then she will ask the explanation later. The explanation, even if it does come, is futile and a tad too late. The son has already been hit.

Many a times in life, we ask others for an explanation. But even before we listen to the other side of the story, we have already pre-concluded for ourselves in our minds the outcome that is to follow. Because of our pre-conceived notions, no one can possibly be given a fair trial. As the judge, we have already sentenced the person before pronouncing his guilty. Just ask yourselves – is this fair?

If you have already fast forwarded the images in your mind to the final scene you want to see, then why bother asking for an explanation? So that you can be Mr Nice Guy and pretend to uphold justice?

Because of our pre-conceived notions, others will always be in the wrong. They will always be not good enough. They will always appear to have questionable characteristics. They will always have some dark secrets to hide. They will always be untrustworthy.  Because only when others are lousy, down and out are we portrayed as magnificent, mighty and high.

It is because of this pre-conceived notion that many relationships, unfortunately, do not come to fruition. When one half of a couple starts to have pre-conceived notions of the other, that’s when the quarrel starts. Just because you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle instead of from bottom up, I label you as a ’spender’ instead of a ’saver’. But it’s just been my habit. That’s all!

We should all learn to start on a clean slate. Who does not have a past? The important thing is to learn the lessons from the past and move on in life. What is the point of revisiting the past baggages and reopening the old wounds just to reinflict pain and sorrow in others? By doing so, we are just being selfish and self-centered.

Recently, C asked me about some issues. After saying what I had to say, C told me this was not the message she received. In other words, I gave her a different version. As she did not hear the version she wanted to hear, she naturally became upset. I can’t help it if C is upset. After all, C asked for my viewpoints and I gave them to her. Whether or not she accepts them as the truth depends on how she has tuned her acceptance bandwidth. If she has switched on her pre-conceived notions, then nothing I say or do will convince her otherwise and be accepted as the truth. They will just be a bag of hot air. If so, then why bother asking me in the first place?

Someone looks like a criminal. He behaves like a criminal. He smells like a criminal. Therefore, he must be a criminal. That’s my pre-conceived notion channelling to me. If that someone is so “criminal” in nature, then why bother being in his company? You should instead be runnning away as far as you can so as to ensure maximum safety.

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As co-organiser, I’ve just been tasked to buy presents for this weekend’s Christmas gathering. Guess I will have to finish shopping for the presents today as I still need to spring clean the house for CNY.

It’s been a while since I shopped for so many presents at one go. Initially, the plan was for a gift exchange of sorts where each attendee would indicate his top 3 Christmas wishes (up to a certain value) to the organisers. The organisers would then shuffle the wishes and distribute them to another attendee. The idea sounded exciting and seemed easy to execute. That was until some people came up with non-creative Christmas wishes like ‘anything’ and ‘no preference’. That spoilt the fun. Worse was some people started to pull out citing some last minute commitments. Oh well, we can’t force people to turn up even though they RSVP-ed to say they would be coming.

Armed with my shopping list, I began active shopping after gym this afternoon. In my list was also stated two ‘no preference’ gifts. Oh well. That was the biggest headache.

Walking around the civic district, I found the first gift easily as precise directions on where and what to buy were given. This is what I like - precision. It made my job a breeze.

But not so for the rest of the presents. As per the first gift, I had to work within the budget for each gift and not exceed it. And the remaining presents were more challenging.

At this particular popular chain of shops in a prominent shopping mall, I found the item. But it was over budget. Exactly two dollars and eighty cents over budget. I certainly wasn’t going to walk five streets to the bigger shopping place in a bid to save the money. And who knows if I will get a guaranteed cheaper price?

So I did what I was taught at Guerilla Business Intensive. I explained my situation and asked for a discount. There was really no harm in just asking I thought. If I get it, good. If I don’t get it, life still goes on.

I studied the reaction on the face of the salesperson. She seemed shocked by the request. But at least I had a glimpse of hope when she said “hold on” and gave me a smile. A smile is always good as it helps to bridge the distance. I like smiles. Then she turned her back to another salesperson and both ladies got into some discussion of sorts. I stood there hoping for the best.

The second salesperson was like the typical civil servant. I heard cries of “cannot, no, no” from her. The first salesperson (the one I approached) was more understanding. “We can help right?”

Not wanting to put either of them in a fix, I raised my voice and asked “do you have staff discount?” This sentence worked miracles.

I walked out of the shop with the discount I was looking for grinning from ear to ear. Within budget!

The next two presents were the ‘no preference’ types. There is no present in the world called ‘anything’. If you want ‘anything’, I’ll give you ‘whatever’. Btw, ‘anything’ and ‘whatever’ are names of soft drinks in Singapore..haha…

Call up the 2 guys I did and out came the present each wanted. Oh come on…it’s so easy to just say what you want. You don’t have to be shy!

Walk into the next shop I did. At this shop, I did even better than the first. As I’m a member, I’m already automatically entitled to a 10% discount. But alas, I forgot to bring my member card which was in my other wallet at home. Am I one to give up so easily? No! Again I explained my situation and hoped for the best. My request was accepted. I would be given the member discount.

Wanting to push it a little further, I asked if I would be given a bigger discount if I bought two items. Very often, one can pull this off easily. I’ve used this tactic many times and it always works. I got a 15% discount.

The morale of the story is simple. Knock and the door will be opened. Ask and you will be given

I wrapped the presents myself

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最近好象每一个人都在追看着新传媒的台庆剧《小娘惹》。故事从30年代展开，横跨70年，直到现代。《小娘惹》讲述菊香出生在一个土生华人大家庭，是出身低下的姨太太的女儿，温柔漂亮，自幼从母亲身上学到一手好厨艺和女红。天生聋哑的她，备受歧视，在日军南下前夕，被安排嫁给一富有峇峇当妾。菊香反抗逃婚，遇到一日本青年摄影师。经历一番波折，两人结婚，诞下女儿月娘。动荡的大时代，让她饱受折磨。她的丈夫死了，她也死了，留下仅仅8岁的月娘。月娘辗转回到开始走向没落的外祖父家。在外婆的督导下，月娘学习传统娘惹的厨艺、女红，长大后就像她母亲一般漂亮。战后，逃难到英国的外祖父一家回来了，月娘就像当年的母亲一样，被歧视、毒打、折磨，为了保护外婆，她忍辱承受。月娘的美貌引来表姐的妒嫉，也引来了有钱的峇峇头家、出洋归国的富少、甚至英俊潇洒的英国军官的垂青，但她独爱一个“身无分文”的小司机陈锡。陈锡其实是个名门子弟，隐瞒身份和月娘来往。他被月娘的纯真、善良和坚强感动，深爱上她，然而二人的恋情碰到重重阻难。在各方的压力下，陈锡被逼娶了月娘的表姐，月娘则被卖给杀猪贩刘一刀。月娘不甘自己的一生由人摆弄，宁可结束自己的生命。她的刚烈，反让刘一刀敬服，与她拜为兄妹。月娘决定走出自己的路。她开始学做生意，过程中，她被陷害、被驱逐、被打击，但她都一一挺过来了，最后还重振已经衰败的家族生意。然而，她的感情却没着落。她深爱的人，依然渺无音信…

剧中的台词无数。但最令我印象深刻的就是外婆（向云饰）对月娘（欧萱饰）一边哭，一边说的肺腑之言。 

就因为我们出生低位，更不应该小眉小眼，贪小便宜
就因为我们出生低位，更不应该让人看不起
就因为我们出生低位，我们更要有骨气
就因为我们出生低位，我们更要扬眉吐气
就因为我们出生低位

我听了，很感动。

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