This week has been a busy week for me judging from the number of lunch appointments I’ve had. Nonetheless, it’s been a very fruitful week.

It’s good to catch up with friends. But the truth is I’ve become more selective when deciding whether to meet up with someone or not. I don’t want to just waste time idling away in a coffee joint – with you looking at me or me looking at you. I don’t want to waste time having to rack my brains just to sustain a conversation – with you looking at your food and me looking at my food.

It makes a world of difference who you meet. It all boils down to one word – energy. When I meet the right people vibrating with the same energy level, we add value to each other and grow as an entity. When I meet the naysayers, I get dragged down by their negative energies and naturally, I become tired, weary and negative. I have all the time in the world now. But for some people, I will never have the time for them.

Energy is the essence of everything. When I wake up in the morning, I have to be bursting with energy and not suffering from the ills of a bad sleep or worse, a hangover. It’s the same way why meeting people with the same energy or speaking the same language is vital.

Energy is the essence of everything

I’m glad the lunch appointments I had this week were fruitful ones as they were all my warrior friends. From them, I have discovered new paradigms which I have never explored. With them, I can revise what we have learnt at our trainings. That’s the way lunch appointments should be. Aho!

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Sales, sales, sales…everywhere the signboards scream!

It’s that time of year again (yes, fast approaching Christmas) where stores compete with one another for the consumer dollar by rolling out sales of different sizes. Big sales, small sales, moving out sales, warehouse sales, year long marathon sale, end of season sales…and of course this one “really HUGE sale”.

There is drama in sales!

Over the years, I have become immune to avalanche of sales and the marketing tactics behind it. Going to a sale means more than just parting with my money. Most people will go to a sale and buy. But do you think they will only buy the items on sale? No! They will also look around in the same store and end up buying the items not on sale. It’s a freaking disease of the mind. I can attest to this personally.

And because something is on sale, many a times we will buy it just because it is cheap. Our mental wires are already telling us to ‘just buy it’…’you may need it one day’…’it’s so cheap’. But we never consider whether we really need it or will use it at all. I bet some of you have bought clothes at a sale which you have never worn even once. I have too.

Now when I look at the signs screaming sales, sales, sales…I’m not so sure it’s a sale after all.

There’s definitely drama in a sales. And most people are addicted to this disease called ‘drama’. ‘Drama’ works in this manner. Assuming the store which we really like is selling its handbag at $699. Every month you go, it’s always the same price – $699. So for the next 11 months from Jan to Nov, it’s $699, $699, $699….$699. Now that’s not only bad news but also boring. The price doesn’t change at all. Sigh.

The drama kicks in when in the month of Dec when you walk in and realise there’s a 10% off everything sale in the store. The handbag which originally costs $699 is now going for $629! You save $70!!! Wow…What do you do? You will consider buying seriously. Out rips your handphone into its calculator mode and off you go hitting the figures on the keypad. 

In another scenario, if you walk into the store and realise there’s a 50% off everything sale, the ‘drama’ factor is heightened and you buy immediately as it’s now only $349.50!!! Yipee…You won’t even think twice.

Remember, the higher the percentage of discount, the higher the drama is drummed into us. Drama is a double edged sword. On the one hand, it is exciting. But it is also that one show that makes us broke.

Drama is a double edged sword – it is exciting and yet makes us broke

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As the government says, Singapore is in a technical recession. Our projected GDP growth rates have been revised downwards again and again. Our tourism figures are shrinking successively. Consumer confidence is not high. DBS bank has retrenched staff. The overall mood is gloom, gloom and more gloom. Looks like it’s going to be a gloomy Christmas this year.

Many younger Singaporeans have never experienced such a global financial crisis before. The previous 911, SARs and Asian financial crisis are at best described as superficial wounds on the skin. But this time, it’s the cancerous cells which are spreading fast and wide. God only knows the amount of poison there is in the global financial system that needs to be expunged. God only knows the true extent of the cancerous toxic in the global financial system that needs to be chemotherapied away. As some of us would put it, a financial tsunami is coming. Watch out for it.

Yet, talk to any ordinary Singaporean on the street and he is probably ignorant of this fact. One man interviewed at the recent Sitex fair said he would still be spending thousands buying new gadgets as he still has a job.

If this is the attitude of the layman, I weep for them. Take out a calculator and he will know the compounded interest he is actually paying after spending thousands of dollars. I shake my head at his stupidity.

I’ve seen friends who, immediately after graduation, start buying cars and private property. At gatherings or reunions, people start comparing the brand of car they are driving or the type of house they are staying. Then they all start harping on this word ‘asset’.

An asset is only an asset when you have fully paid off all the outstanding loans. Then you can declare it is your asset. While still paying off the loan, it is unfortunately still your liability. This is the truth. Many people have so many liabilities in life. Even the HDB flat they are living in is a liability as it has not been fully paid for. Similarly, the car too is a liability. This is one of the chief reasons why I intend to put off buying a car for as long as I can as it is perhaps the biggest liability in one’s life. The very day you buy the car, the very day the price depreciates.

With so many liabilities in life, these people who think they are so damn rich are living on a time bomb. When they can’t pay their outstanding loans, the exciting shows begins. No, you have to pay $9 (weekend price) to watch the show. It’s free! They are forced to sell their property and vehicles at a price far far lower than what they have bought them for. It’s time for the fire sales! Bring it on…

In these lean times, in order to ride through the storm with minimum damage, one must either learn how to increase income or minimise expenses. Since the former is a more difficult pill to swallow as it means having to take on a second or third job or even moonlighting for some people, this leaves a more doable second option of minimising expenses.

Expenses are anything which entices you to spend money. If minimising expenses means the car has to go, let the car go. If minimising expenses means having to refinance the loan, refinance the loan. If minimising expenses means having to downgrade from condo to HDB, do so. This is not the time to save face. This is the time to preserve your own lifeline. Unfortunately, it’s sad to see so many people still putting up a brave front.

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We are confronted with problems everyday – problems at work, relationship, finances, health etc.

For the first group of us, it’s natural to avoid confronting it as it’s painful. If possible, we’ll sweep it under the carpet or bury it in the depths of the earth and pretend it never existed. And life goes on. This is self-denial.

For the second group of us, we behave similarly to the first group. Except in this instance, we will postpone solving the problem for as long as we can, until one day the problem hopefully becomes a distant memory or a long forgotten concubine banished to the cold palace. And life goes on. This is self-sabotage.

Interestingly, people who practise self-denial or self-sabotage very often realise that no matter how strong their intents to bury or escape their problems are, they are still no match for a force greater than them. This greater force is called the Universe. The Universe has a way of resurfacing the problem or re-presenting it in another similar form to test them. Unless they take the test and pass it, the same problem will keep haunting them for the rest of their lives. Life is a continuous series of tests. Each test is designed to help us grow.

For the third group of us, we don’t see problems as problems. Instead, we view them as opportunities. The present global crisis is not a problem. It is a once in every ten year opportunity cycle. While the first and second groups of people complain of no money, the third group of people rejoice as there’s plenty of money to be made. When the stock and real estate markets crash further, we go shopping. Who doesn’t like a sale when everything is cheap? There is no better sale than the one now and the years to come. View it as a problem and all is gloom. See it as an opportunity and you’ll find diamonds ready to be picked.

When the opportunity comes, don’t hesitate. Do what you must do. The first two groups of people will wait and wait until the opportunity passes them by. The third group of people will take appropriate action.

If you are not happy with your lot in life, do something about it. Bemoaning your current state or worse, justifying why you got to the present sate is not going to help things. What you are doing instead is to spin a nice little sob story which you retell yourself day after day to the extent that you start to believe in it and get trapped ultimately by it.

Is it a problem or an opportunity? You have the power to decide!

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My client R turned up for his personal training session tonight at the same time, same venue as usual. The only difference was in his towel. It was not his usual orange or blue coloured towel…but a luminous green towel with two embroidered rose motifs…Waah!

He tried to hide the two rose motifs by flipping them inward but my alert eyes caught sight of them before he could succeed. Needless to say, I teased him about the towel.

Yes, the orange and blue towels are in the laundry…but why this towel?

Towel with two embroidered rose motifs

Then R related the story of the towel to me. And after hearing it, I was naturally touched.

R came to Singapore half a year ago to work. Before he left for the little red dot island, his mother gave him a towel for him to use when he needed it. And it was this very same towel with the two rose motifs.

No matter how she attempted to mask the real reason, I could still sense it. The towel is more than just a piece of cloth for R to use. It is also a symbol of her unconditional love for R. Everytime R uses the towel, his mother wishes him to remember her  - the love of a mother thousands of miles at home.

In all our mothers lie a maternal instinct so strong that she will willingly sacrifice herself (if need be) to protect her young. A master at warrior camp once related this tale to us - of how the mother bear charged at a group of hunters fearlessly when they wanted to capture her young.

A group of five young men saw two bear cubs and moved forward wanting to capture them. Sensing the mother bear’s presence, they fired a shot in the sky. This got the mother bear running off. The bear cubs, seeing the young men approaching them, cried out. The mother bear, on hearing the desperation in the cries of her young, turned around, stared at the young men and subsequently charged at them fearlessly. The young men fled in separate directions.

A mother’s love for her child is so great that she will go to such extent to ensure they have the best of everything in the world. And for this, I am grateful to my own mother for her unselfish love, care and sacrifice. I salute all mothers in the world. Maybe I should hint to my mother to get me a green towel with two rose motifs as well? Hahaha…But I know my mother. She will buy me the ‘good morning’ towels instead. That’s my mum!

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I’m fast becoming a celebrity on the street I live. Only celebrities get special attention from the paparazzi and their every movement monitored under the microscope. This is what is happening to me now.

Till date, because we are still one of the newer families to move into this estate, I too have been elevated to become flavour of the neighbourhood. Sometimes, I feel like I’m living on Wisteria Lane among a bunch of desperate housewives who have nothing else better to do in their lives than bitch about others. Gosh!

Just last week, the neighbour across my house told my mum I sleep rather late at night.

“I always see lights in the room and a motionless figure seated quietly facing the wall…”

If that neighbour thinks I’m being punished by having to face the wall or simply meditating, she’s wrong. I’m blogging, checking my emails, msn-ing and doing my work on my desktop. It’s bad enough to spy on others surreptitiously. What makes it worse is when the neighbour discusses it with her entire family and I become the topic for their dinner talk. Needless to say, her entire family now knows my bedroom (yes, the one with the six long ceiling to floor windows) faces her daughter’s room and I’m not a motionless corpse.

Then over the weekend, another neighbour across my house told my mum she saw someone sending me home on several occasions.

“I saw your son in the car, in the passenger seat…” 

I won’t deny it as it is indeed true. She’s indeed been spying on me and her skills are top-notch. Thankfully I didn’t have a sexual tryst in the car less she creeps up, films it and uploads it onto Youtube. What’s wrong with someone sending me home? It’s perfectly normal, thank you.

Yesterday, my next door neighbour told my mum I like to play computer.

“Your son likes to play computer huh?”

Maybe she really peeped directly into my room and saw the various applications which she thought were the same PC games her sons play. Or perhaps she’s attracted by the vibes I generate or type of music I play? I really don’t know.

I’m blessed to have such voyeurs as neighbours. Maybe I should just do a pole dance in my room to arrest their attention and drum up more publicity for myself.

Please. These neighbours are all married women. If there’s anyone whom they need to spy on more often, it’s their husbands. Leave me alone. Spy on your husbands less they start a marital affair.

It’s no wonder I never leave my house nowadays without my sunglasses on. I need my privacy and I will protect it.

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Besides being a lifestyle coach, personal trainer and sports nutritionist, I can now add another tag behind my name with pride – that of fashion consultant

Indeed. That was my role this late morning when E asked me what he should wear for his dinner & dance the very same night.

I first enquired what the theme was. Angel. Interesting. Then I did an association with what people normally associate an angel with. Words like ‘white’, ‘pure’, ‘light’, ‘feathers’, ‘halo’ etc came to mind. Great!

E’s original idea was to wear a white long-sleeved shirt paired with white pants for the event. When I heard this, the very first word that came to my mind was boring.

Come on, it’s D&D time…time to let your hair down and have loads of fun!

A white long-sleeved shirt paired with white pants is in accordance with the angel theme but it is also a tad too stereotypical.

E protested and said he borrowed a pair of angel wings at $35 so that should spice things up. Well, if Angel E can think of angel wings, all other angels at the D&D too can similarly think of the same idea. He agreed.

I ransacked his wardrobe to see what clothes he had which we could use. To be honest, I think I would have less of a problem dressing for the angel themed D&D if I took stuff from my own wardrobe instead…haha…

E’s wardrobe comprised mainly long-sleeved shirts & T-shirts. I guess I’m the metrosexual one as I have more stuff at home…

After his initial refusal to the gradual giving in to the final successful cajole, I created a layered look for E. A layered look is one that you get when you pair a T-shirt over a long-sleeved shirt. So, E got to keep his long-sleeved shirt on (which he was glad to).

E parades the layered theme. Still, I was not very satisfied as I really felt something was lacking. Yes, the oomph factor.

Angel theme: Layered look

So it was back to ransacking his wardrobe for a second time. Since the main section didn’t yield much, this time round, I looked into his so called personal section which contained all his intimate stuff like undergarments, socks, singlets etc. I was in luck as I spotted a white singlet. Good good.

But poor me needed to spend the next 10 minutes explaining why he would have to give up the layered look for another look which I call the singlet look. E almost fainted and protested strongly. No way…too daring…people will talk on Monday…too shy….

To me, they are all excuses. What’s the use of going to the gym to work the body and those arms if you want to keep them under wraps? It just doesn’t make sense. I live by this mantra “if you have it, show it!”

So E makes a quick change into the next look – the singlet look. I know this will be a big hit with the ladies in his company as he gets to flaunt his body and show another side of him. It’s not as if I’m asking him to go topless. E really looks much better in this second look. At least he looks like someone who is ready to have fun and party the night away. He has to coz the D&D will only end at 1am. Haha…

 
Angel theme: Singlet look

Still, the perfectionist streak in me surfaced and I added an accessory which I found - a white tie. A pity he didn’t have any white coloured scarfs which he could have used. So I transformed the white tie into a choker with dangling ends. Here is what E will be wearing tonight to his D&D. Enjoy!

Angel theme: Singlet & tie look

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“You must have visa card before you can enter.” He said in an admonishing tone as if I had just committed a crime. Even criminals are innocent until proven guilty.

From his stance, I could not help but feel mocked. What’s so great about having a visa card? Had I wanted to be nasty, I would have opened my wallet in front of him and thrown all my visa cards at his face. Take them and have a good look…visa, mastercard, amex…enough for me to enter the candy house?

I was particularly pissed off as he obviously thought I was not high class enough to enter the candy house. Of course, he didn’t bother about me but just made sure I stepped out of the house. “You can’t even enter the gates you know…”  he continued before attending to the tourist behind me with all politeness. If this is not mean, I don’t know what is.

I was not blind to see that the tourist behind me was a Caucasian. Of course, the boy on duty thinks the Caucasian will own a visa card but not a local like me.

So the poor local cannot enter the candy house. He must move around in stealth as he’s deemed too inferior to even rank among equals. If he wants to take pictures of the candy house, he can only do so around it and not inside it. In comparison, the Caucasian, because of his skin colour, can do anything in the candy house. He can even shit inside the candy house if he so pleases and the boy on duty will still praise his excretion as if it was the nicest smelling fragrance on earth. This really smacks of double standards and pissed me off. To him, white is the preferred skin colour. Just like visa is the preferred card widewide.

The candy house at Changi Airport’s Terminal 3

During the days of slavery and colonisation, I wouldn’t doubt a fact that the Westerners would have almost any arsenal in their inventory to make us kowtow to them in complete acquiesce.

The days of anglophile worship are long over. White supremacy no longer rules these days. For far too long, the West had imposed their management and thinking systems on the East. When Mahathir imposed capital controls on the ringgit during the Asian financial crisis in 1997, he was labelled as anti free market. But hey, look at what the West is doing now in the light of the financial market collapse on the other side of the globe. If they do it, it’s alright. If we do it, we will be labelled names. But do you think I care? Sorry, I don’t as the this is the time of the East. I read with much amuse at newspaper reports citing many ang mohs or orang putihsscrambling to the East in search of jobs after they got fired at Wall Street. These third rate Western bankers are coming to the East hoping to land cushy jobs at Shenton Way and earning first rate pay. Dream on!

I don’t know who trained the boy on duty in service quality but he was sorely lacking in it. It’s just a photo or two. I wasn’t even asking for his life but he acted as if I was. To all locals, the candy house is pretty but the boy on duty guarding it is nasty. You have been warned!

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I’ve lost count of how many times my name has been mispronounced, mangled and distorted beyond recognition.

When it first happened, I was terribly upset. After all, a name is an identity which you use to connect yourself to the world and vice versa. How dare people get it wrong?

When it next happened, I took it upon myself to educate the other person the correct pronunciation. All I received were massive apologies in return.

When it happened for the third time, I wondered if it was really that difficult to pronounce. Did Dad give me such an uncommon English name? As far as I know, there’s a very famous singer by the name of Lionel Richie whose hit songs include ‘Say You, Say Me’ and ‘Hello’.

When it happened for the nth time, I gave up. Yes, you got the right guy…just got his name read wrongly that’s all. Besides the name boo-boo, can we proceed with the conversation?

For the record, I’ve been renamed ‘Leon-er’, ‘Leo-nel’, ’Lean-er’, ‘Leonard’ and horror of horrors ’Lynette’! Of all these and more possible permutations, ‘Leon-er’ happens most of the time.

A friend of mine told me to just change my name to ‘Lion’. Maybe I should? Then all of you can hear the lion roar. Actually, it’s no coincidence as a quick search of its roots show that ‘Lionel’ (pronounced LYE-nel) is of Latin origin and its meaning is indeed ‘lion’. Alright, I’m the king of the jungle then. Quickly come pay your respects…

I’m starting to plan for a large scale event next year. As a strategic planner, it always makes sense to start planning early. And here’s where the fun starts as I get renamed over again and again…haha…

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Second Grandauntie has a very bad impression of the banking and insurance staff. Recalling the days when her husband used to be chairman of XXX bank, she never once recalled the staff having to parade themselves in the open, holding brochures in their hands and waylay passer-bys on the move.

“It’s akin to prostitution”, she exclaims.

Indeed. The winds of change have long blown into the corridors of both the banking and insurance sectors that staff nowadays have no choice but to promote their company services direct to potential customers. It is no longer the case where a potential customer approaching the bank or insurance company. As the saying goes ‘if Tarzan doesn’t go to the mountain, the mountain goes to Tarzan.’

In a market dominated by so many players, such a ‘mountain moving to Tarzan’ move is no longer frowned upon. In fact, insisting on the ‘Tarzan going to the mountain’ way of promoting services is no longer the way to go. Prospects still go the mountains, but they have become far and few in a lean economy.

After meeting two ex-colleagues for lunch today, I headed to Novena Square through the MRT station. Little did I know I was stepping into a vulture’s nest. By the time I realised, it was already too late. A quick count tallied the final number as eight. Eight vultures were stationed, four on each side, along the aisle of the MRT station leading to the Novena Square escalators. Seemingly harmless at first glance, they quickly zoomed in on their targets with the deadly accurate precision of a vulture attacking its prey.

I fell victim to one female vulture. She stepped forward, blocked my path and shoved me a survey form to fill up. I sized her up and saw from her badge she represented ABC insurance company. I smiled and shook my head. She persisted and asked “where are you working?” I said, “no thank you”, cut off all eye contact and headed towards the upriding escalator.

After a quick visit to the bank, I took the escalator back to the MRT station. This time, another vulture flew to my side. I could tell this vulture originated from the same nest as the previous one. Ignoring all civilities, I gave her a stern ‘no’ and walked on.

In the past, I would have probably relent after a little persuasion and entertain the vultures. But not today. The first rejection showed the gentle side of the warrior – calm on the inside and gentle on the outside. Rejections need not be all gung-ho, force and might. In contrast, the second rejection was a more forceful one. Continue to pally with the warrior and you experience the full intensity of a ‘no’.

The vulture-land scene is not a new phenomenon and will likely proliferate on a greater scale. That’s alright. So long as I know when and how to say ‘no’, I won’t end up as meat for the vultures.

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