Cousin Michael’s going back to KL today and we were at Harbourfront Centre sending him off. Time really flies. Can’t believe he’s going back so soon. Well, we’ll always have the chance to meet again soon

While waiting for the bus to leave, something interesting pasted in the bus caught my eye. This notice.

So the washroom on board the posh bus is only for light usage. Heavy usage passengers will have to find an alternative place to release.

Light or heavy. Who is to determine each polar opposite? Because what is light to you can be heavy to me.

In life, many a times, we put a label to things. Fat or skinny, handsome or ugly, big or small, dark or light, hardworking or lazy, black or white…the list goes on. But exactly whose perspective are we looking at things from?

It is our own perspective. We take ourselves as the benchmark. From there, we start to label the people and things around us. If we are hardworking, then the colleague around us who does less work than us is branded lazy. Similarly, if someone’s productivity is twice ours, then he is more hardworking. If we are big in ‘L’ or ‘XL’ size terms, then someone wearing a ‘S’ or ‘M’ is small in relative terms.

Well, if only things were as simple as this.

How we put labels on people and things boil down to our conditioning. And our conditioning is moulded by our parents, teachers, friends, society and all those experiences that we have encountered – the good and the bad. We have learnt while growing up what constitutes ‘good’ or ‘bad’. But ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are relative as something or someone has to be bad in order to bring out the goodness in you. If everyone chooses to be the angel, who is going to play the devil’s role?

If I have to use the toilet on board the posh bus, I’ll use it regardless of whether it is for a light release or heavy bombing. Period.

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I was in Orchard Road this morning and saw this mangled mess (that used to be a BMW) smashed against the pedestrian post. A pretty sight it sure isn’t. More a painful sight I guess. It’s an adept reminder of the need to be present and focus. 

The crashed BMW

There are so many things wrestling for our attention at the same time that we inevitably learn to multi-task. ‘Multi-task’, probably the most common catchphrase of the 21st century, is actually the worst devil.

We talk to others while watching television. We chat on msn while working in the office with the radio turned on. We drive on the roads deep rooted in a conversation and our fingers thumping to the beats of the latest song. We are physically in the office but mentally pumping iron in the gym. We are walking on the street but concentrating on our PSP screen. In the attempt to do two or more things at the same time, we are in fact doing none properly. Stop deluding ourselves! We are in the motion of doing things, but definitely not in the moment.

We do things for the sake of doing things. We don’t enjoy what we do at all as we can’t give 100% attention. Many a times, it’s 50% or even 33.33% attention if we are juggling three things simultaneously.

I bet the driver of the BMW was not present while driving. He could be thinking of the urgent meeting he was rushing to. He could still be having a hangover from the late night of booze. Whatever reason I may conjur, the chief reason is lack of focus. If I were him, I would choose to stick to driving my BMW with full intent.

It’s so important to be present enjoying every passing moment. Not only are we more productive, life also becomes more pleasant. Be present when you are peeing at the urinal, unless you want to make a mess of the floor or wet your pants. Be present when you are making love, less you subconsiously utter another person’s name instead. Be present when you are eating your food, less you want to gobble and choke.

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The last 4.5 days have been a wonderful, once in a lifetime experience for me. I’ve learnt that I’m actually much stronger than I thought I am both mentally and physically. Looking back at the activities in my journal, I really marvel at my own courage and perseverance.

Every episode is recorded in my journal. It’s an open secret that I love writing. And I haven’t stopped writing at the Enlightened Warrior Training Camp. In fact, I would only catch some sleep after writing my experiences in my journal. Even my roommate Joshua aka Black Raven commented this was something he would not do.

Summing up all that I’ve learnt, seen and gone through, I now know there’s nothing I cannot do in this world. This is a sonnet I wrote to myself. It’s titled ‘I Am An Enlightened Warrior’.

I make a vow to come back safe and sound.
What lies ahead I do not know myself
except I am ready to face them all.
I choose to be present. Focus…that’s right!
I choose to stop quitting the fight.
I choose to play all out to my full might.
I choose to trust myself and tribe in sight.
I choose to see the real me deep inside.
I choose to take one small step at a time.
I choose to tell mindfricks to now get out.
I choose to self-approve without a damn.
I choose commit and make my words my law.
Inducted as warrior I now am,
glowing in my power, I stand up tall.

Lionel L
aka Spunky Sparrow
(26 Oct 08)

I am an enlightened warrior…Aho!

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There are no answers in my mind and there are no questions in my heart. As much as I face many predicaments in life, it’s how I react that matter most. So long as I come from the angles of focus, physiology and meaning, there’s no reason why I cannot pass the predicament test.

This sonnet is dedicated to the one I would protect and live to protect till the end of time. Love conquers all.

My Love For You

My love for you is so strong that I can
hit, kick, elbow bad guys the whole day long.
My love for you is so pure that I can
look Death in the eyes with smile on my face.
My love for you is pure light that it can
transcend nations, touching you in a spark.
My love for you is not the words I say
but how I feel for you using my heart.
My love for you is so true that I can
commit fully and make it my life song.
My love for you withstands the test of time
like how Phoenix rises again from ash.
My love for you is for the One we are.
As we are now body, mind, soul combined.

Lionel L
(25 Oct 08)

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After each person had gone through the transformational moment, the entire tribe had to celebrate. There is great cause for celebration of course as it takes courage and conviction to go through the transformation. All declarations had to be stated loudly with intention, clarity and energy. Trust me, energy is really the motivating force to allow one to break down all barriers. Spunky Sparrow too went through the transformation after the declaration.

And then ingenious Rina came up with this idea of giving hugs once the person successfully completed the transformation. Bubbly and full of joy, she was jumping, happy for everyone.

I asked her what kind of hugs she would be giving. Without hesitation, she shouted out loud ‘L-sized’ hugs. So she said “L-sized hugs my way, S-sized hugs that way and M-sized hugs the other way.” I was laughing myself so loudly as she shouted “L-sized hugs come here come here”.

I teased her by saying she should open a hug agency offering free hugs to people as encouragement after they have completed an important episode in life. I even suggested that ‘L-sized’ hugs should be renamed ‘upsized’ hugs. She said “just like McDonalds”. Haha. After all, not everyone wanted super big hugs. I’ll be happy with ‘M’ sized if it’s Asian cut or even ‘S’ sized if they are from the West.

So Rina got my cue and renamed her hugs ‘upsized’ hugs. Then she also renamed the other two hugs as ’small’ hugs and ‘executive’ hugs respectively.

In business as in any other professions, once your competitor sees a potential in an area, he/she would jump onto the bandwagon to attempt to get a share of the pie too. This was what happened. Rina’s impromptu hug agency was so successful that other competitors too sprouted up. The other people were exclaiming “come to me for love” or “let me give you love”.

L-sized hugs or upsized hugs? I’ll always remember Transformation Night.

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Walking on the beach which stretches on for miles, time seems to stand still. The beach is untainted by mankind. There is no single piece of litter in sight. There are no deck chairs nor huge unsightly umbrellas. There’s only nature and me.

It’s like the perfect beach Leonardo DiCaprio sought out to discover in ‘The Beach’. Blessed am I to have found it in real life.

Satisfaction after completing the beach walk

The final destination is out there somewhere. Walking on, thoughts of the good old days bathed in golden hues return to cheer me on. This is utopia!

Yes, my backpack may be heavy and my hands may be occupied. But nothing beats this experience. The waves, my closest companion on this long journey, are with me at all times. Listening to the rhythm of the waves is therapeutic. They rise, they fall. They rise again, they fall again. Each moving wave is poetry in motion. The waves are like a musical sore producing excellent beautiful music to the ears. And with every rising crescendo, I found the strength to take the next step forward.

Walking on, seashells aplenty dotted along the beach were unearthed for me. Just like jewels in a treasure box, they come in different shapes and sizes. Each seashell tells of a tale of its own, of why it was washed ashore.  ‘Tis said that if you put the seasheel next to your ears, you can hear its story. In the end, I found 10 seashells which connected with me. A perfect 10.

It’s starting to drizzle now. That’s alright. I’m enjoying the moment. I soak in the drizzle in true gratitude. It’s seldom I have the chance to be wet. And besides, the drizzle is a heaven sent to aid me in this journey. The wind starts to blow making me cool and comfortable. I feel so blessed. Thank you elements.

The destination is my future. That is something I cannot predict but at least, I have a direction. The journey, which is the present, is something well within my control.

Looking back, every step I take is a step forward.

Many a times I have lacked the courage to keep on walking. When the going gets tough, I tell myself to take a rest. But after resting for too long, I find it hard to regain my form again. That’s why I push myself in the gym all the time. I know I will slack if I take it easy and stop pumping. Momentum in life is important. every little step is energy as it leads to the next step.

My legs are on fire now. Blisters have erupted on my soles and toes. But they are just obstacles in this journey. Yes I feel the pain. But no I’, not going to stop. I’m going to carry on walking. If life were a bed of roses, it would be so uneventful. Besides, whoever said ‘life were a bed of roses’ should be shot! Even roses have thorns, prickly thorns.

I’m pushing myself to inch towards the destination. There are pretty temptations along the way in the form of pit-stops where one can rest his weary feet on the sand. But hell no! They too are distractions!

Four and a half hours, I find a great sense of satisfaction. I have reached the destination after walking fourteen kilometres. More importantly, the entire team walked together and never gave up. Kudos!

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There is a little known side of the warrior in all of us – the beautiful side. This was allowed to surface tonight. Tonight, I witnessed the true grace of the warrior in dance and song. Tonight, I felt my heart open up as I glided like a graceful swan on the peaceful lake. Tonight, I connected with the same oneness we all are as we did the ritual with 50 odd other people in our small circles.

‘Maybe this is the healing
that we share this feeling
and find compassionate love
Passing from my heart to yours
Passing from my heart to yours
Passing from my heart to yours
Passing from my heart to yours’

While doing the ritual, I don’t know why some refused to look me in the eye or place their palm on my heart. Could it be that they were afraid of the intensity of my love? Could it be that they were still holding back after undergoing all the lessons at warrior camp? Could it be that they were too busy trying to memorise the lyrics and dance moves?

I don’t have the answers. But for those who were in the moment, I could see the beauty in them. Their smile was genuine, their love was warm, their heart was open and their touch was healing. And so were mine.

‘Maybe this is the healing
that we share this feeling
and find compassionate love
Passing from my heart to yours
Passing from my heart to yours
Passing from my heart to yours
Passing from my heart to yours’

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I’m not an outdoorsy person. I only like gym. Yes, I like nature but hell no way am I going to do some pseudo-acrobatic acts in mid-air like what I see on TV. It’s strange how the mind always says no to new situations. It’s like an overprotective mother who wants to shield her child from the outside. The mind’s comfort zone is always the best. Just stay put and you’ll be safe.

This dilemma is not a new one. The mind says stay but the heart says go. I’ve tapped into the power of the heart before when I made the decision to find true self in Nepal. Today again, my heart urged me to just do it.

The initial step is always the most daunting. From way up here, the view above is magnificant. But as I took a peek below, the view below is scary. I better not look down less vertigo kicks in.

After the initial step, the next step becomes easy. Once I landed my legs on the ropes and found my balance, I was having a swinging good time. Guess Jordin Sparks was right after all. Just take it ‘One Step At A Time’.

This is really my now. I’ve thrown the fears behind me. Fear of heights? I’ve thrown that away as well. From within me and drawing strength from my partner, Angela aka Angel of Light, I started to breathe. Breathing really helps me to relax.

Angela & me

In any partnership, mutual trust and support is very important. Just like how words make up only 7% of our communication, we could only communicate non-verbally up there. Focusing on eye contact is a definite must. More importantly, we had to move in tandem. There is nothing that cannot be done in this world. The more difficult it is, the more we must push our bodies to the maximum.

The activities involving a partner also taught me a valuable lesson of life. Just like how I depended on my activity partner Angela for support, I too must give support when it is required. Taking a cue from this, marriage partners and business partners too must move together in the same direction and steer with one heart.

Whether the activities were a piece of cake for some or a leap of faith for me, there are just some things in life which I have to face alone. I cannot bring my army of soldiers or armoured calvary to war at all times. Today, I had to jump and fly like my warrior name, Spunky Sparrow.

I thought the G-max machine at Clarke Quay was cool. I though bungee jumping was cool. Well, those are all thoughts. When you are really along in the frying pan, it’s do or do not. There is no try. These immortal words from Yoda, the wise one from Star Wars, is so appropriate.

It’s no mean feat for the ex-Renci head monk Ming Yi to be standing on top of a high log, immersed in a box of ice or walking on high-strung wires between buildings. I know the feeling today.

One, two, three. I’m up. Only when you are so high that you can touch the sky can you experience the exhilaration of ‘been there, done that’. This is my now. No one can steal it from me. I’m in my power.

Three, two, one. I leap. If I had wings, I would have flapped them. Today, Spunky Sparrow and me are one combined.

I’m glad I listened to my heart.

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Today, I have to learn to take things easy and relax. That sounds good but may not be easy for me. I have been living my life in a rush.

I talk fast, I walk fast, I work fast, I eat fast. Yes, National Service has taught me well. Too well in fact. For the record, I can finish a meal in less than five minutes flat. It’s embarrassing for me to eat with someone as I will always finish first. Then I’ll start to stare at the food on the other person’s plate. But today, today I will have to learn.

Like what Dan Millman discovered in ‘Way of the Peaceful Warrior’, I never knew the lettuce was so crunchy, the carrots so juicy and the tomatoes so fresh till now.

As I chewed so slowly, scenes of love began to fill my thoughts. I felt the love of the farmers who planted the vegetables and harvested them. I felt the love of the cooks who prepared the meals. I felt the love of the waiters who served the dish on the table. I felt truely blessed. When was the last time I felt so much love in my life? I simply can’t remember.

Connecting with the elements

As a child, I heard many stories about Great Grandfather. One of them revolved around the dinner table. During Great Grandfather’s time, it was forbidden to speak at the meal table. After greeting your elders and asking them to eat, you must remain in silence throughout the entire meal. I thought it was a joke then. Oh come on…how can I bond with my family and socialise with my friends if I were to eat in silence? Now I understand the sanctity of it. By observing silence through eating, we are actually cleansing our thoughts and purifying our bodies.

After being cleansed and purified mentally can we be cleansed and purified spiritually. Many people seek to be enlightened and spend many decades sitting in a stone cave expecting enlightenment. I think they have missed the point. Enlightenment does not come from the outside. Enlightenment is in fact within all of us. It is inside. We just need to look inside us for the answers.

I’m grateful I actually had a headstart over the others in meditation. Since meditation, I’ve noticed a great difference in my posture, temperament and feelings. I can now sit straight for hours. I can now control my temper better. I can now connect with my heart.

When I meditate, I am grateful to the kindness of the heart and breath of life. By being open and receiving whatever messages I’m to receive, I focus on my breathing. I breathe deeply into my diaphragm. Every breath I take is a slow relaxed one. Moments later, all my thoughts are emptied out of my head. There’s nothing else, just me and my breath.

I care not if the surroundings is oven hot or igloo cold. I care not if the surroundings are congested with people or bereft of mankind. It’s just me and my breath. Nothing else matters.

I’m receiving messages now. The voice in me is asking to connect with the four elements of nature.

Connecting with wind, I learn to be free. The wind comes and goes freely, not stopping. Just like the wind, I need to find momentum in life. Just like the wind, I need to remain calm and provide an active listening ear to the people around me who need me. I now begin the appreciate the wind. It’s like a soothing balm that alleviates all aches and pains. Blow wind, blow.

Connecting with water, I learn to be versatile. Just like how water takes the shape of the container it is in, I need to go with the flow. Just like how water changes its state between ice and steam, I need to adapt to all situations. Water is essential to mankind. Three quarters of the earth is filled with water. It parallels our body as three quarters of us is also filled with water. Remember we can survive without food. But we cannot survive without water. Alas mankind has not learnt to appreciate water. We pollute our oceans, seas, streams, leakes and rivers. Only when we are faced with extreme heated conditions do we realise the gift that is water.

Connecting with earth, I learn to be maternal. The earth is like our mother – always giving her best to her children and expecting nothing in return. The earth gives life to the things we eat. The earth gives life to the soil we walk on. Yet when we discovered shoes, we forgot how to walk barefoot again. Just like the earth, I need to reawaken my love to the people around me. I must love them for who they are and not who I want them to be. The paternal instinct I feel is enriching. Every child sees his father as a hero. I too one day want my children to see me as their hero as I shower my love on them. The paternal instinct I feel is warm. It’s akin to my mother’s unconditional love. I picture myself back in my mother’s womb. I am reborn into this world.

Connecting with fire, I learn to be passionate. Fire gives light and energy to the world. It illuminates the dark. It is a beacon of hope to the lost. It lets us see the beautiful things in this world. Fire flows in our body too. This comes in the form of our blood vessels. Our blood too gives us light and energy.

Connecting with the four elements, I realise I have taken nature’s greatest gifts for granted for too long. It is now time to reestablish the vital connection.

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Today is my first day at the Enlightened Warrior Training Camp. After getting into our tribes, we were each asked to choose a warrior name for ourselves. T Harv Eker urged us to choose a name that resonated with our power. The name could be an animal, weather, nature or posture.

It wasn’t too difficult a task for me as I already knew what I would christen myself.

Spunky Sparrow. Yes, no eagles or hawks for me please.

There are 3 reasons why I chose Spunky Sparrow as my warrior name.

First, there is a Chinese saying “麻雀虽小五脏俱全”. The literal translation is ‘the sparrow may be small, but it still has five organs complete’. I know I’m not a tall burly guy. But this will not stop me from graduating from warrior camp. If the big guys can do it, I can do it too. If the eagles and hawks can do it, the sparrow can do it too. I choose sparrow to be an inspiration to others. I choose sparrow too as a form of humility.

Second, the adjective ’spunky’ brings connotations of courage and spirit. Yes, I’ve heard horror stories about the camp from some part attendees. What better way to self-motivate than be spunky for the next 4.5 days? If there’s any time I need courage and spirit, there’s no better time than now.

Third, ’spunky’ and ’sparrow’ are both dual syllable words and what’s more, there’s a beautiful alliteration when ’spunky’ combines with ’sparrow’. This allows people to remember me better.

Welcome to the Enlightened Warrior Training Camp. My warrior name is Spunky Sparrow. Aho!

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