I wrote a piece on Facebook earlier. Here’s the link to the 30th April posting if you want to check it out. 2 months later, here’s Facebook Revisited!

My community in Facebook is growing.
Or in Facebook lingo, it would be “Lionel’s entourage rolls ___ deep”.
V asked me why I added so many people at one go.
Let the truth speak for itself.

I don’t add as much as I get requests to add.
And now that I’m in business, I would rather add than offend a potential client.
You never know when that will happen.
V said he would have offended many people using my rationale.

Well, it’s only an add request right?
How difficult can that be?
It’s not as if they want a part of me…
Though I think some do.

Yes, I know my pictures on Facebook turn people on.
I get labelled as cute, sexy, drool worthy…whatever.
On average now, I get at least 2 add requests per day.
At the rate it’s going, I think I can start a fan club already.

Most become passive fans after being added.
They only want to be added!
Gosh…give these poor dudes a chance.
Add them and make their day!

I know some people actually compete to see who has more people in their list.
Size matters in most instances.
But numbers here don’t represent anything.
They just mean you know more people.

But knowing more people in what sense you may ask?
Knowing them as another statistic in my community perhaps.
Any chance of getting to know better?
Yes, of course, if you wanna talk business.

I’m not a meat to be bought in the market.
I’m not a dish to be devoured on the dinner table.
I’m not a wine to be savoured with delight.
I’m only human.

Give me a human touch.
A nice hello note would be nice.
Not just an add request and then never to hear again.
But at the rate this is going, I need to hire a secretary.
I really do.

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We all deserve happiness. After all, life is short and we only live once. So let us be happy in this life!

When the multi-millionaire speaker T Harv Eker shared the 3 secrets to happiness on stage today, I finally knew why I now feel so much more happiness in my life.

Here’s the 3 secrets to happiness in life.

1. Sing

It’s a pleasure to be able to sing. Singing is one of the most expressive emotions mankind has known for decades. You take a simple song and personalise it by adding your own flavour to it. When I sing, you forget all sources of stress. The whole body also gets a good workout. That’s why I love holding concerts at the KTV.

2. Smile

I don’t deny the fact that I like to smile a lot. In fact, my smile is one of my best assets. A smile breaks the ice between two strangers and bridges the distance. A smile is also an acknowledgement that you have noticed the other person in a crowded room. Practise smiling more today and watch those wrinkles disappear!

3. Serve

I really enjoy what I’m doing now. To me, it’s not work at all. On the contrary, it’s play time every day for me. I’m sharing my gifts with my clients who engage my fitness and nutrition services. When you are able to serve humanity in any way, it’s a blessing indeed. A huge blessing

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It was a pleasant surprise seeing my meditation teacher at the same course. It’s great to see him as we have had only a chance to meet up once after the Nepal trip. Time really flies when everyone gets busy.

When he saw me, he immediately commented that I glowed. I laughed. Indeed. When your spirit is free to pursue its true calling, you can’t feel any other emotion but happiness. Pure happiness.

Then he told me he had something to share with me and pulled me aside.

Being the obedient student I was, I followed the teacher to a corner of the hall. This was when he revealed the truth.

Nepal was a test for me. At Nepal, I learnt three lessons.

First, determination.

Yes, I was really put to the test. I had to go vegetarian for the meditation trip. Then there was the need to continue going vegetarian for the next 1 month after return.

The chilly mornings and nights, coupled with the hot afternoons was enough to throw my skin into disarray. I suffered from ultra dry skin when I returned and no matter how much moisturiser I used, my skin still felt it needed more hydration.

Second, patience.

Something unfortunate happened during the Nepal trip. As it was highly personal and sensitive, I have not blogged about it. I chose to forgive and forget the incident. I also bless the actor involved.

Third, clarity.

Nepal set my life direction up so clearly that when I returned, I knew what actions to take immediately. After I took action, I started attracting positive things into my life.

Though the months and years may fly by, I will always have fond beautiful memories of Nepal. Nepal transformed me and allowed me to be reborn. Thank you.

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I’m into the second day of my Guerrilla Business Intensive by T Harv Eker at the Expo. I’m enjoying every minute of it as marketing is simple!

Today, we’re learning negotiation techniques. The most exciting part is it’s not just route learning. We will need to put what we have learnt into practice.

Off into the streets we were despatched in groups of four. The mission was simple – to return in 1.5 hours’ time with 1 item each which we liked. The second mission was to use one or more of the negotiation techniques which we had just learnt to get a better deal. Getting a better deal did not pertain solely to price reduction. It could also mean getting a string of freebies along with the item.

I had a difficult time figuring out what I wanted to buy on the train ride to Tampines. There was really nothing I needed to buy and I certainly wasn’t going to spend money for spending sake.

My two other teammates had already an inkling of what they wanted to buy. International calling card. 4GB SD card for sony playstation. And here I was, still racking my brains.

Very soon, we were already at Tampines. Two strolls around Tampines Mall and Century Square drew blanks. Then we decided to venture into the heartlands and head towards the shop situated around the bus interchange.

Then my eyes caught sight of something green, yellow and furry looking being displayed at one of the pushcarts situated at the bus interchange.

Even though they were smaller than my palm, I knew what they were. Yes, I’ll buy this!

Feeling hyper excited, I walked up to the pushcart and started cuddling one such green, yellow furry plush toy. The CJ7 toy, as it’s popularly known after the latest hit movie by Stephen Chow, is actually a computer generated alien dog.

The lady owner of the stall walked up to me and asked if I was interested.

Yes, I sure was.

I enquired the price. $4 for one.

Now’s the time to put my newly acquired negotiation skills to good use! I was on a dual mission and had to accomplish it!

Determined, I nodded my head and smiled. A smile breaks the ice.

Then I asked if I could have a discount. She hesitated.

“Ok, $3.”

That’s a discount of $1. Though it’s not much, I would have accomplished the mission. But I was not prepared to leave it there.

I went a step further.

“What if I take two?”

She was still hesitating.

When someone hesitates, it’s perhaps the best time to counter offer as he/she is still undecided. Let me, the customer, make up your mind for you then.

That was what I did.

“$5 for two. I’ll take them. You’re happy. I’m happy. Alright?”

In business negotiations, always go for win win solutions so people will continue to want to do business with you.

Flashing another smile, the deal was transacted. Mission accomplished!

One CJ7 will be given away to someone to be put in the car. I’ll keep the other half. Too bad they have to be separated. But absence makes the heart grow fonder

Hey, we know we are cute…

Checking each other out…
 

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B called. I thought he wanted to tell me he had qualified for the Million Dollar Round Table in his insurance line again. But no. He sounded subdued.

Didn’t make it to the Million Dollar Round Table? Nope, it wasn’t that.

Didn’t meet sales quota this month? Nope, it wasn’t that.

Then B revealed the reason why he called. His marriage had broken down and is now officially a thing of the past. He’s now a free man again after the divorce. No wonder he was asking me to introduce ‘mei meis‘ to him. As if I owe a harem of ‘mei meis‘…sigh…

Filing for divorce based on irreconcilable grounds is always one of the most common reasons cited. Irreconcilable grounds? I think it’s more on grounds of non communication rather than irreconcilable grounds.

Imagine living under the same roof but you don’t talk like you used to talk anymore. Imagine being husband and wife in name, but you sleep in separate rooms. Imagine dating other people yet being in a ‘married’ relationship. Imagine having to resort to sticking post-it pads on the fridge or bedroom door if you really have to talk to the other party.

In the past, walking out of a marriage seemed the most unthinkable thing to do. In fact, my lecturer once told me that when one got married then, he or she had to make the marriage work. There was no such thing as divorce. Divorce is such a Western thing, he would say. But things have changed. It’s just like policemen nowadays no longer wear shorts as part of their uniform.

When another person walks into your life, it’s for a reason, a season or a lifetime. It’s never easy having to open your world and share it with another person. The way one squeezes the toothpaste, whether it’s from the middle or bottom is already a point of constant contention between couples. Males like to squeeze it in the middle while females like to squeeze it from the tail end.

Yet while dating enriches a person’s life, it’s a subject which is never taught in school. In fact, since when did our school teachers teach us about this strange feeling called love? How do you know when you are in love? Teachers nowadays already have too much on their hands to handle teaching sex education!

The dating phase and the marriage years are completely different. During the dating phase, both are so happy being in love that love transcends everything. To put it bluntly, one is so blinded by love that the other person comes across as a Greek god or goddess. He or she is the most beautiful. He or she can do no wrong. He or she is the perfect fit. But there is no perfect fit in this world. This truth is only revealed when one ties the knot.

I personally feel that one hits ground zero only after marriage. That’s when you start to really understand a person, his/her habits and character. That’s when the real truth is revealed. Whether he throws his boxers to wash daily, weekly or monthly (gasp…!) or she leaves her sanitary pads lying around…

I’m not advocating cohabitation less all mothers accuse me of leading their daughters astray…but it at least offers a realistic glimpse into what possibly can happen to the couple assuming they get married. We don’t want any rude shocks only after the lovey dovey wedding ceremony right? We want to be prepared. And the earlier we prepare ourselves, the better we can withstand any tremors, assuming there are any.

A marriage timeout? There’s no need for this! If you are still undecided about cohabitation, then perhaps consider packing your bags and jetting off for a weekend getaway. Let’s go!

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The tradition continues this year. The buying of a birthday present for myself. I know there’s still 3 more weeks to my birthday, but it doesn’t hurt looking around for something. It’s called scene appreciation. There’s no better time to look around than now too as it’s the Great Singapore Sale.

Actually, deep within, I already knew what I wanted this year. No more watches or tote bags this year. I’d go for something more personal and intimate. Something which I will see almost everyday when I use it. After all, I don’t wear the same watch or carry the same tote bag everyday so this must be something which is more than a regular companion. It’s a daily companion.

Having checked out so many boutiques and shops for this ’regular companion’, I finally found one which I liked at Bottega Veneta boutique at Paragon. The perfect handphone strap.

My current handphone strap was already showing serious signs of fraying. Replacing it was thus what I had planned to do.

So here’s my early birthday present for myself

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I was at Plaza Singapura passing time as Mum was only meeting me at 7.30pm. Feeling restless, I went window shopping. I hardly come to Plaza Singapura as it’s not really in the heart of Orchard Road…a bit out of the way…

I walked into John Little without even knowing there was going to be a closing down sale. Only when I saw the notice on the wall and the number of people in the store did I realise what was happening. It was madness. But still, like other Singaporeans, when you smell a good bargain, you just rush in.

The shopping experience was good as I found some daily necessities which were heavily discounted. The offer was too good to resist. 20% storewide discount plus an additional 3% rebate if you paid using the John Little card!

Then I joined the queue and reality struck when I found myself at the main entrance of John Little. This was where the queue ended. Oh my god!

The winding and snaky queue was taking forever. ‘So long….so slow…queue not moving’ people started complaining.

Yet despite the never ending queue, more people joined us in the queue and made it even longer. The impatient ones shook their heads and some walked away. The ingenious ones took turns with their spouses or friends or family to queue. But for me, I chose to remain in the queue.

A quick glance of my watch showed I have been in the queue for the last 19 minutes. Having joined the queue at 4.55pm, I have since moved only 5 steps. It sure felt like eternity. It was a good thing I had some entertainment in the form of two playful daughters with their dad behind me and a bickering couple in front.

5.55pm. It was finally my turn to pay money at the cashier. Phew!!! When I took my purchases out in the red coloured plastic bag, I heaved a sigh of relief and pitied those who were still standing in the queue, either patiently or impatiently.

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One year later, I’m back at the same place at the same time.

The only difference is I’m no longer a contestant. Standing on the same stage brings back memories of the pageant finals last year, of a time when I was more used to being called Mr Toa Payoh 2007 than my own name. After all, it was my maiden pageant parading myself in both trunks and evening wear in front of an audience

Flashback: Mr Toa Payoh in trunks at Mr Singapore 2007 pageant

Flashback: Mr Toa Payoh in white suit at Mr Singapore 2007 pageant

Yes, I’m back at the Mr Singapore 2008 pageant finals at Braddell Heights Community Club Auditorium as a co-host.

I was there since the rehearsals started in the afternoon. The contestants showed heightened nerves as each tried his best to remember the stage positions, entry/exit points, alignment, eye contact and smile. Compared to my year, the scoldings were less harsh and fewer. But you bet the show chereographer still had some fire left in his belly to yell at some unfortunate fellow.

Glum looking contestants being scolded during rehearsal for not standing in line

While the contestants were still being scolded, I sneaked backstage to soak in the action.

Clothes tagged and ready to be worn for the evening finals

So many pairs of shoes…but let’s see who didn’t polish?

Time seemed to pass more quickly than I could keep track. Very soon, it was time to get ready for the show. This meant the preening and looking good before the camera lights hit you. Backstage action is always interesting to capture on camera

I saw some contestants giving each other high-fives, I saw others hugging…I also saw a few kissing…oops! Anyway, what is a pageant without any scandals right? But to protect the guilty and the innocent, I shall not reveal anything. Your secrets are safe with me.

Fighting for posession of both the facial cleanser & sink

Eric the hairdresser doing my hair

Danny the makeup artist brightening up my eye area

Danny the makeup artist applying lip gloss for me

No matter how stressful it gets, there’s always time for some pictures backstage. Here’s one final one before the actual competition starts.

Mr White in a sea of Mr Yellows…

While the majority of contestants and minders were more stressed trying to look their best, here’s Ash aka Mr Pasir Ris flashing me his victory sign. Cool dude!

No stress…smile

Being a co-host and not a contestant is a different feeling altogether. One, you don’t get butterflies in your stomach anymore as you are no longer competing with others. The mood is definitely more relaxed. Two, you’ve been there, done that so it becomes much easier. I’m a senior now.

Or so I thought…

But once I stepped onto the familiar stage and walked down the steps again, the same feeling returned. The same combined feeling of excitedness and nervousness.

The MS 2008 stage

Again, I’ll be scutinised by an audience. And this time the pressure is double because as the co-host, I have to ensure the event flows smoothly. Imagine having an awkward moment on stage.

Me getting into co-host mode

It’s time to unveil the names of the Top 10 finalists!

I don’t know why but seeing well-bodied guys in tight trunks always makes one go crazy. The reaction was the same again tonight after the names of the Top 10 finalists were announced and the guys went on to compete in the Toot Swimwear and Fitness Competition wearing nothing but their trunks, with a towel covering their nipples. Each one in the crowd had his or her own personal favourite. It could be because of his good body, cute smile or manly appeal.

I still remember last year we were strongly advised to wear a g-string beneath the tight trunks so that our crown jewels would be sparred any potential embarrassing moments. But as the saying goes…an advice is still an advice…while some heed it, others do things their way. I chose to do things my way and skipped the g-string. Imagine wearing another piece of cloth beneath the already tight trunks…and that piece of cloth has a string which sticks into your ass crack…no thanks man! I wonder how many contestants this year skipped this advice too…hmm…

The Top 10 finalists appearing in their trunks

After seeing them in the flesh, the Top 10 finalists went on to compete in the evening wear segment. Each brought his own interpretation of style, confidence and presence. Black is always a safe choice judging from the night’s dominant colour for suits. Always the maverick, I chose to buck the trend and wore a white suit last year.

The Top 10 finalists in their suits

After the Top 5 finalists were announced, the pressure started to mount for the fab 5. After all, this was the final hurdle to cross – the Final Question. Each finalist had to pick an envelope containing a question in which he was given 30 seconds to answer. It’s insufficient to have just brawn without brains. We don’t want himbos. We want a man who is representative of the modern Singapore man – witty, charming and toned.

 
Alex aka Mr Bukit Timah answering the question he picked “What is your greatest achievement?”

The final look for the judges before they voted for the next Mr Singapore

Actually, I had already predicted who would win the pageant during the rehearsals. Having done my homework and from acute observation, I picked Jovin aka Mr Bedok. Jovin did not disappoint. A crowd favourite (he elicited the most cheers, claps and wolf whistles), Jovin became the newly minted Mr Singapore 2008. This is his crowning moment.

Jovin Koh – the new Mister Singapore 2008

Me with the Top 5 winners

Me with the 2nd to 5th placed guys

Me with the other guys (6th to 17th placed)

Overall, a job well done guys! You have done yourselves proud by taking part. The competition may be over, but for the winners, the job has just begun. There are strict diets to follow, schedules to adhere to and a year ahead of exciting opportunities, overseas travels and memories. All the best! And maybe next year, I’ll be invited back to the event as a judge…perhaps perhaps

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With three hours to kill before my next training session, I made up my mind to catch ‘Kungfu Panda’. I’ve been wanting to watch it since the last 2 weeks but could not.

Besides expecting the same quality fanfare from Dreamworks Animation, I really enjoyed the show. Ok, it’s not a James Bond or Indiana Jones kind of action-packed. But it’s me at heart – something cute, heartwarming and meaningful.

Po, like all of us, has dreams of being a top-notch kungfu master. He does not want to continue to work at his dad’s noodle shop. But he, like all of us also, has his own self-doubts as well. To put it bluntly, he is fat, clumsy and lazy. He takes other views to heart and quits too easy initially.

Only when he realises that there is no secret ingredient in his dad’s soup after all does he decipher the true meaning to life. And that is whatever secret recipe you think exists is just something someone invented to make himself or herself special. The real secret recipe lies within your heart. You are the special ingredient yourself…only if you open your heart and start believing in yourself.

When Sifu started to believe in Po, miracles happened. Po may be most unlike the stature and build of a kungfu master, but it is this uniqueness that makes him special. And it is this unique gift that Po used to help him defeat Tai Lung.

We are all special in our own ways. We can only unleash our full potential when we start to believe in ourselves.

No wonder ‘When You Believe’ by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston still remains one of my favourite all-time songs. I believe in myself

“There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It’s hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe”

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I was waiting for the traffic light to turn red in town when I overheard three guys discussing the ‘wealth effect’ at the road junction. Intrigued, my antenna immediately went up a notch higher. The wealth effect?

In essence, the three guys were sharing a social phenomenon which is really true. The wealth effect kicks in the moment your monthly pay is credited into your bank account. Suddenly you become very wealthy with so much money to spend. You start dining at finer restaurants, shop for new clothes and shoes, catch the next best available movie in town, meet up with old friends etc. This usually happens from the day you get your monthly salary all the way for the next 2 weeks. Assuming pay day is on 1st of each month, the wealth effect lasts till 14th of that month only.

From 15th onwards, your impoverished side resurfaces. You stinge, you avoid phone calls asking you to chill out at the pubs or discos, you tell your friends maggi mee is the most nutritional food in town, you suddenly have lots of excuses not to meet anyone. This is sad but true.

Why must we feel wealthy only when we get our salary? Why must this effect last for only 14 days (or even shorter for some people now that the Great Singapore Sale rages on)? Why can’t we be wealthy everyday?

It’s not so much about how much you earn per month. Haven’t you heard that the more you earn, the more you spend? It’s more about how you manage your money that is core.

I bet most of you have heard this old saying….“keep some money aside for rainy days”. Well, some people still do and what do they get? Rainy days to spend the money!

We don’t want rainy days. We want sunny days to spend, invest, play and grow our money! Money is a tool that facilitates our life…not the other way round!

This is how we should be creating a daily wealth effect instead. Use a portion of your salary for your daily expenses. This includes transport, food, entertainment, phone bills etc. After this, divide up the remainder into different percentages so that we get an account each for education (yes, this is important), travel, investments, charity, savings and fun money.

Money habits are not difficult to cultivate. It’s deciding to take action and monitoring of how you spend your money in which sphere that is more challenging. I know of some who have so much of fun money (fun money is money for you to splurge – either on that IT bag you have eyed for so long, or for a superb treat at the highest tower in town etc, that they neglect the other quandrants. Have fun? Yes, but have moderate fun. You are not painting the town red you know!

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