Right or wrong? Yes or no? True or false? Black or white? The list goes on…Have you ever considered why most, if not all of us think of situations in terms of duality? The answer must always be either ‘A’ or ‘B’. There cannot be any shades of grey in between.

Why must one be the victor and the other the defeated? Why must I be right and you be wrong? Why can’t both of us be right or wrong at the same time? Why can’t we find some middle ground?

To understand why we think in terms of duality, we have to go back in time. During school days, we are taught by our teachers that there can only be a right answer or a wrong answer. There is no in-between or what we call a 50-50 answer. The education system does not encourage suggestion or possibility. It advocates a clear-cut, almost scientific methodology that it’s either this or that. Nothing else. Anything that is in the middle is considered taboo. And taboo’s frowned upon in society. So rather than risk being labelled as taboo, we either give a smart PhD kind of answer (that’s ‘right’) or a nitwit silly kind of response (that’s ‘wrong’). Sitting on the fence does not help as it means getting poked by the smart edges. Worse, we get ostracised by our peers for being the odd one out.

As we enter the working world and are assigned projects by our boss, we either choose to accept them or reject them. Accepting them means we continue to remain on the payroll of the company. Rejecting them means we better start looking for a new job anytime soon. Did we ever have the guts to tell the boss in the face ‘let me think about it’ or ‘maybe’?

When we enter a relationship and meet someone whom we fancy, do we have to go with the flow and say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ immediately? Why can’t we say ‘maybe I’ll put her name down in my little black book coz it may come in handy one day’?

By being conditioned from young and allowing ourselves to continue to think in dual terms, we are already simplifying things a lot a lot and seeing the world in monochrome.

But the world does not exist in monochrome. It comes in a rich spectrum of colours. Similarly, our emotions does not comprise just happy or sad. There is a whole gamut of emotions waiting for us to experience if we allow them entry. Why restrict ourselves and not allow our body, mind and soul to grow?

Chairman Mao Zedong, ex-paramount leader of Communist China, sums it up best. “It does not matter if it’s a black cat or a white cat. So long as it is a cat that can catch mice, that’s a good cat.” （不管黑猫白猫，能捉老鼠的猫就是好猫。）

I don’t have to be right. You don’t have to be wrong. We can both be exploring, searching, learning from each other and the world we live in. The boss does not have to be obeyed or defied at all times. We can always test the waters and push the OB markers a little. Our hearts do not have to register a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ immediately. There is room for testing and adjustment later.

There is much more to life and much more worth living for than just having a dual mindset. It saddens me to see how many of us have degenerated into this state and do not even realise it. It seems that they have been too sucked in by the overwhelming demands of life and have stopped to think for themselves. In fact, humans only utilise up to 4% of their brain. Imagine how much more powerful we can be if were to tap the other 96% of our brain matter?

Happiness is within our reach. It is only achievable if we start embracing life and living it on our own terms subsequently working towards our goals. Yes, the world seems an easier and simpler place to live and function in if it’s only A or B. But that’s boring, downright Boring…with a capital B!

If you want to be remembered as a boring person, then continue with your duality mindset. On the flipside, if you wish to be remembered as someone who has lived an eventful and meaningful life when your eulogy is read, then do something to resurface your consciousness. We all have the potential. It only depends on your willingness

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