After days of cleaning and unpacking, I’m now 75% done…hope i’ll be in time for CNY which is just round the corner…

My toy museum is my pride & joy. It showcases the childlike me & what makes me happy. In life, there is nothing more precious than being happy. Only when you are happy is your spirit lifted….I love it

Here’s a tour of what makes me happy…courtesy of Lionel’s Toy Museum….enjoy

All toys under one roof…

Star Wars figurines – 1st series. 1984.

Yoda – the wise one

Matchbox cars – you’ll never be able to find them now…

Transformers – when machines become man & vice versa

The blue creatures called smurfs

Snoopy in different country attire

Momo bears

More Momo bears

Even more Momo bears

More Momo bears & counting

Bruce Lee: “What are you looking at?”

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Baby food is any food that is given specifically to infants, roughly between the ages of six months to two years. The food comes in multiple varieties and tastes, can be produced by many manufacturers, or may be table food that the rest of the family is eating, mashed up.

A common trait of the many different baby foods is that they are designed for ease of eating; either a soft, liquidy paste or an easily chewed food. This is because infants lack teeth and experience in eating.

So it really came as a surprise to me when I discovered one young colleague (actually not that young – he’s almost 20 already!) starting to eat baby food. My goodness! Will he start to crawl on all fours and bawl next?

He says it’s good for him. I asked why.

This was the response – “You see babies have good skin? Must be coz of baby food. I also want smooth complexion. That’s why I eat baby food.”

So far, he’s tried the applesauce flavour from Gerber. He’s since stocked up on pureed pear, banana, apple and mango flavours from Heinz.

Well, I think you’re stretching it a little too far, friend.

One of the reasons babies have such soft skin is that they haven’t been exposed to the harmful effects of UV rays! After all, they have always been living a sheltered life in the womb all along.

True. There are plenty of clichés about a baby’s skin being smooth and soft – and while some babies have more good-skin days than others, very few have perfect skin all the time. Babies have sensitive skin that is thinner than adult skin so they can’t be exposed to the sun for too long. They also develop skin rash on some occasions.

“See see, I’m getting more pimples…especially on my forehead. My face is so red. It’s going to rot soon!! I need more baby food…”

So after Gerber & Heinz, I think he may also want to try the other 2 famous international brands to try – Beech-Nut and Earth’s Best.

Rather than spend money on baby food which will not work on a soon-to-be 20 yr old man, here’s my advice to get baby soft skin (like mine…hahaha)

1. Cleanse your face twice a day with a gentle cleanser, toner & moisturiser.

2. Exfoliate no more than once a week. Use a scrub for sensitive skin. If you have ultra sensitive skin then once a fortnight. Exfoliation will remove dead skin cells, dirt & oil, allowing the new skin beneath to emerge.

3. Wear sunblock if you’re going to step outside of the house. Apply it at least 10 minutes before you are exposed to the sun. Check out the SPF number. SPF stands for sun protection factor. It’s not necessary the higher the number, the better. Generally, SPF 15 – 30 will suffice. Multiply the number by 10 and that is the number of minutes the sunblock can last under the sun.

4. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day to keep your skin hydrated from the inside out.

5. Eat a multivitamin daily to help your skin fight off wrinkles.

6. Have enough sleep. You need enough rest for the body to repair old cells and build new ones. The body undergoes a repair process from 11pm to 2am.

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I’m sure the scholar will be in for a rude shock today when he returns from his meeting. Besides feeling cold (he’s wearing a sweater when it’s so warm), he’s also going to die of thirst.

The opportunist has decided to act today. This is reminiscent of the time in Star Wars history when the Empire strikes back against the uprising.

No prizes for guessing what the opportunist did. He actually drained out all the water from the scholar’s new well by removing all the mineral water bottles and hiding them somewhere. All in under 5 minutes!

The tables have now been turned.

“No more water to drink liao…See whether scholar still so ya ya or not! Ya ya papaya! “ the opportunist proclaimed.

“You better don’t offend him. Scholars will make it big one day.” I warned.

“Scholar big I scared meh? He big? Where big? Show me lah! We compare see whose bigger…!” went the opportunist.

Ok, even if yours is big, you don’t have to compare with the scholar’s. And I don’t wanna see. Thank you.

“Quick, quick, let’s go back to office quickly and see if he’s still alive or not…or need to call paramedic for him…” the opportunist plotted.

The scholar was still seated in his cubicle, like a smiling buddha, typing away, probably working on his next paper while relishing the discovery of yet another new well.

Better luck next time, opportunist!!

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Out of office messages are getting more unconventional lately. In my last entry, I shared the work of a budding poet (see 21 Nov 07’s posting). Now let me share another creative one. This one is really weird – you have been warned! I had a good laugh when I read it.

I will be out of the office from 28/01/2008 to 30/01/2008.

I am now somewhere in the South China Sea fishing.

If the Kota Tinggi roads are flooded, then I am forced to continue fishing as this is an Act of God.

I am not so important for department to issue me a satellite phone, so don’t bother to call me.

For urgent matters, pls contact Mrs Casey at 1724.

For funny matters, pls talk to Mr Tom at 8732.

For other matters, pls contact God or other Divine Power at your local mosque, church, temple, graveyard, healer, yoga master, exorcist (katong shopping centre) or shrink.

Peace be upon you.

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I skipped this year’s dinner & dance (D&D). Well, I wasn’t the only one. The top 3 senior management people also didn’t attend. So, see?

Tale has it that the organisers were scrambling to find a VIP to give away the prizes. The 4th and 5th most senior people, on hearing that the top 3 were going to absent, also decided to absent themselves so that they did not have to do the honours of giving away prizes. How smart! Or should I say so cunningly planned huh? Haha.

That’s not the juiciest trivia. Some people wore their best to the D&D, hoping to win the Best Dressed. But as there’s no free lunch, nominees for the Best Dressed were asked to gyrate their hips (so I heard) to some hollywood theme songs to win crowd support. One particular lady, who wore a bright red see-through cheongsum, hid herself in the female toilet. She had to be pulled out of the toilet and pushed onto stage. How fortunate or should I say, unfortunate?! Toilet is not always the safest place to hide you know…next time just run out of the hotel into the streets. That’s the best option. Haha.

But the best was yet to come. The MC came up with some damn sexist games. First up was the horse game. 4 ladies were involuntarily ushered on stage. Then they were issued their props – one metal pail, a handle and a ball of string. The aim was for the horse ladies to recoil the string using the handle so as to move the metal pail forward. In the process of doing so, they had to adopt a bent position at all times. I would never have approved of this game – it’s so demeaning. Imagine getting the audience to place their bets on the horse that would move the fastest. The worst part would be to get some parts of their bodies exposed inadvertently. Thankfully no short-skirt wearing ladies were chosen for the task. For the record, the pregnant horse lady won the race! Well done!!

Horse ladies in action

Next up was the ‘guess the weight’ game segment. It started off as a simple game of questions and answers. Things only got ugly when the MC brought in the weighing scales. On stage was a female amazon whose face was blacker than the blackest charcoal on earth. She adamantly refused to have her weight taken and gave both the MC and organiser a shelling on stage. Wow! You go girl!!

Her parting shot was a nasty but deservedly“XY, I’d remember you for this!!”

Never ask a woman her weight. Never ask a woman her age. Never ask a woman her breast size. These are the 3 biggest no-nos. Don’t the MC and organisers know this?

Yes, I did miss out on some of the drama moments but overall, I think my Fri evening was better spent elsewhere

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I went to change my address just now at Bukit Merah East NPC. The NPC was deserted with no policeman in sight. Am I in the right place?

Only after I pressed for a queue no on the ticket machine did 2 policemen walk out of a small room. They were alerted coz the machine made a buzzing noise. Had it been for the noise, I think they would have remained in the room. And btw, what were they doing inside? I don’t think police procedures allow both to take a break at the same time leaving the counter empty right?

My first impression was already not a good one.

Policeman A then asked me 什么事吗. Good thing I was not an angmoh kantang and understood what he was trying to ask. I responded saying I wanted to change my address.

Policeman A now discovered he does not have the password to the computer system he needs to login to activate the change of address icon. He called for Policeman B.

Policeman B gave him the password which was stored in his handphone while holding a piece of bread in his other hand. Was the bread for me? Probably not. But the sight of a policeman holding a piece of bread while entertaining the member of public was certainly not very professional.

Hey, I also didn’t know passwords could be shared. Probably breaching some IT policy huh?

These issues aside, policeman A wrote my new address in the register book. Then he keyed in the details into the system and printed out the new address onto a sticker. Just as he was about to paste it onto my IC, I stopped him. There’s a mistake in the postal code. I told him the correct postal code.

He went “oh”.

I glanced at his name tag – X Ho.

The 2nd time, he printed it wrong again. I had to stop it yet again. Postal code is wrong.

“No wonder house number is wrong.” he said. “3rd time won’t be wrong already.” He jested and gave me this silly grin.

I certainly was in no mood for his bland sense of humour. I held an internal dialogue saying I would tick the policeman off if he had the same mistake the third time. It’s just a simple change of address. It’s not asking him to go scale Mount Everest to catch a thief.

Wake up Mr Policeman! Don’t be blur! Stop sleeping! It’s not bed time yet!

Lucky for him – he got it right the third time. But a simple change of address exercise which could be over in about 5 minutes took me 15 minutes. Well done!

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I forecasted earlier that the water supply in the storeroom would run out soon as a result of constant daily depletion. This was what I discovered upon my return to office today.

But the scholar who has been the main culprit is still alive and kicking. The unofficial office broadcaster told me he probably found another well. ‘Tis true. Can’t possibly sit there and thirst to death right?

Scholars are smart, brainy people. They know how to survive against the odds, often surprising us with unexpected results.

“He still has 2 bottles of mineral water supply each day, you know…” The unofficial office broadcaster (UOB) went. “Where does his supply come from?”

“Perhaps from home? Scholars can afford to buy…” I suggested.

“Can’t be lah…He this type. Won’t come out from own pocket.” UOB sniggered.

“Scholars got type one meh? So is he type A or type B personality?” I queried.

“Aiyoh, you don’t know. He’s so lazy. When the printer has no paper, he walk up to me and say ‘No paper’. Expect me to insert paper into printer for him. Too much. Then this morning tell me, very cold. Ask me if adjust office aircon…Too much!” UOB complained.

“Maybe he likes you and wants your undivided attention. Or maybe he’s suggesting he’s cold and wants you to hug him…hahahahaha…Anyway, the aircon is centrally controlled and can’t be adjusted.” I offered.

“He should just go sit outside in the hot sun. Scholars only know how to push papers. That’s why they are all so fair. Like snow white…Not man at all.” UOB suggested.

“You are lucky he never tell you ‘No water’ and expect you to produce some water.” I joked.

“Ya, i’ll give him some of my clear juice then he knows…” UOB proclaimed.

“To sum it up, you know why you’re complaining?” I asked.

“Why? Because he scholar?” UOB tried his best at answering.

“No, coz you are scholar’s slave…” I laughed. Hehehe…

The scholar had indeed found a new well . I didn’t mean to trail him but it so happened that I was walking behind him and saw him rubbing his throat. Could it be an indication that he needed water?

I found the source of his new water supply. Stashed somewhere safe in the office. A while later, I saw 2 gleaming new bottles of mineral water on his table. I returned to the new source and discovered many many new bottles of mineral water, awaiting to be consumed in the weeks to come.

And when this source too runs out, you bet the scholar will find yet another new source. Scholars are smart and resourceful people. If all else fails, go to them. Just don’t ask them to insert paper into the printer or adjust the thermostat in the office. These are too menial tasks for them. Let the commoners like us handle them instead.

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My body has decided to revolt. So here I am still at home, even though my leave has ended. It’s a Monday and I’ve been given 3 days MC to rest at home. My lower back’s killing me and my legs are so so sore from all the climbing up and down, up and down, bending up and down, up and down. I feel like an old man now. I have never experienced so much pain before. Not even muscle ache post-gym is this bad.

When the doctor lifted my shirt, he jokingly said I had developed 6 packs on my back. Yes, I can feel my back muscles are extra stiff and hard. When I touch it, its damn painful. Bet they are sore beyond words. And that’s bad news.

Guess what happens when I’ve decided to take a rest? My boss sms-es to say he’ll call to discuss work. Hello, am I reading you correctly?

The phone does ring. It’s indeed my boss. I can’t believe it.

After the first customary ‘how are you’ question, it was work, work, work all the way. Oh well. He’s the boss. What can I say right?

After the phone call, he sms-ed to say he would call again the next day and the following day.

Am I really that indispensable to the organisation? I don’t think so. I think I’m just another nondescript employee earning a decent living. Ok, I’m not really that nondescript. I try to break rules when I can. I take part in public competitions. But then again, the organisation will still function even in my absence. And besides, it’s just for 3 days. Oh come on, give me a break, will you?

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“Hui sin, hui sin cher-eh”. That’s perhaps my mum’s favourite phrase. I’ve been hearing her say it so many times a day that it’s going to be one of the most cliched phrases of 2008.

Hui sin here, hui sin there, hui sin everywhere!

‘Hui sin’ – a Hokkien term translates into ‘please’ in English, 请 in Mandarin, ‘tolong’ in Malay, ‘Kor’ in Thai etc.

‘Hui sin’ is always used in the beginning of the sentence to soften the hardness of the demand.

“Hui sin ga wa dao cher-eh”
(direct translation: ‘please help me fix this’)

When I first learnt the phrase, it was just another phrase in the Hokkien lexicon. But as the days went by, Mum’s constant hui sins have given it a totally different new meaning. As a language graduate, I analyse language and its linguistic patterns.

Too many hui sins in one conversation sounds a tad too pretentious. If you need help in doing something, just ask politely. Drop the hui sin, hui sin. In the same vein, saying too many ‘pleases’ in one sentence portrays an image of helplessness and directionless. You are weak. You are frail. You are at a disadvantage. You cannot survive.

Conversely, using hui sin sparingly creates the right effect it is supposed to work. It breaks the monotony of the sentences in the form of demands eg ‘do this’, ‘do that’, ‘come here’ by adding an element of politeness to it. Please do this, please do that, please come here…There is goodwill created by both speaker and target. Goodwill created in this way enhances the relationship between both.

Stop the hui sin, hui sin. It’s slowly, but surely getting irritating. It’s like a stubborn mosquito buzzing around your ear refusing to fly away.

“Hui sin cher-eh, mai ko hui sin liao. Guam xia”
(direct translation: ‘Please, no more pleases anymore. Thank you.’)

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I woke up in foreign territory this morning. The sun’s rays shone straight into the room barren of curtains (they are not here yet). I slept very well – not because the mattress was extra comfy (in fact, I’m still waiting for the new mattress to arrive as well), but because I was overcome by exhaustion.

The last two weeks have really opened my eyes to the real pain one can subject your body too. Moving house is a massive project in itself. Even a seasoned events guy like me will attest to that. I’m been sleeping like around 2-3am every day only to drag myself to work the next morning. Now I’m in new territory – there’s the unpacking to do. Arrgh!!!!

I’m not sure if I can finish everything within the next few days even though I’m on leave. It’s a terrible feeling. I’m alone. Mum says I’m fussy and won’t help me. I know I’m a perfectionist. After all, it’s a new place and it had better look new and spruced up. So, my home policy is no finger prints on the glass cabinets, no hairs on the floor and no insects are welcome. I think I’d add onto this list as time goes by…

It will take a while before I really know every nook and cranny of this new home. I have to test each switch to know which one activates the light and which one activates the fan. It’s like playing guessing game all the time. Oops…wrong switch…try again…until I get the right one. It’s a new playground waiting for me to explore. This excites me. And I’ll have the task of decorating the walls…yipee!!

I want to continue lying down as it’s starting to get comfortable…But a quick check of the clock tells me it’s 11am. No wonder my stomach’s growling…

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