美国有奥斯卡奖、中国有金鸡百花奖、台湾有金马奖、新加坡有红星大奖。。。在2007年的最后一天，我也总结了一年的成绩单。好辉煌、好辉煌的一年喔！

现在就由我来宣布，并颁发2007年五大贱人奖。以免有些贱人不高兴，要借此说明排名是不分先后的。

五大贱人之处处留情奖。见一个、爱一个，简直就是花心萝卜。明明有了心上人或已婚，却依然到处捻花惹草，欺骗别人感情，嘴巴甜到掉渣。情是他的艺名，性是他的真名。留情还好，可别留种。

五大贱人之说话不算数奖。在你面前说的是白色，在背后做的是黑色，出来的效果是灰色。。。简称说一套，做一套。你要天也可以、你要地也可以、你要什么都可以，可是最后给的只是一大推废话与谎言。什么承诺、什么诺言、都是假的，只有你眼泪成诗是真的。

五大贱人之太极十八式奖。她以一脸傻大姐的样子，使出太极第十八式招式“能推得就推”。问她问题，她什么都说不知道。说了不知道就不必做了，更不必管了，把责任推得一干二净。佩服！

五大贱人之乾坤大挪移奖。若说太极功乃以柔治刚之功也，刚阳之功不敌，那“乾坤大挪移”肯定更叫人拍案叫绝。得奖人不巧的也是个女性。Women power 果真好厉害喔！这一种上乘武功只有内功精湛、心性高洁的人能够练成。先把自己的工作明正言顺地推到同事那边，等到工作还剩八九成时，再用乾坤大挪移心法把任务移回来。独领全部功劳，做到了损人利己。

五大贱人之贱到彻底奖。这个是处处留情+说话不算数+太极十八式+乾坤大挪移的结合体。试想想，要贱到彻底可真不容易。你要有实力、耐力、毅力和说服力才行。如果孙悟空在场的话，他一定会说‘吡吧你个咙叮咚。’

掌声鼓励所有得奖人！你这一年的付出，辛苦了！贱人加油！

怀念2007年、张望2008年，相信五大贱人肯定会继续贱下去。所谓“江山易改, 贱性难移”。

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今天约了T吃午餐。认识T这位朋友也至少有两年了。虽然最近为了准备搬家而忙碌许多，但由于已约定好了，所以也就赴了约。

T说会带他的另一伴S 去。我说没问题。毕竟我是去吃午餐，不是去当电灯泡。

我望着T和S这对小恋人坐在我的对面，我脸上露出了笑容。认识了T这几年，一直都知道他是个纯英语的人。回答时用英语、发问时也用英语，不曾听他用华语来交谈。S却恰恰相反。文质彬彬的S是马来西亚人，沟通的语言是华语。

我心里有一个疑问，可是始终没问。T和S会鸡同鸭讲吗? 可能是我想太多了吧。

初次听T用华语和S说话，有种焕然一新的感觉。由于我一时听不惯，觉得也有点怪怪的。

两个截然不同的人竟然能在一起。他们不但语言不同 (T说英语、S说华语)、性格不同 (T好动、S文静) 、品味也不同 (T时髦高雅、S简单朴素)、连饮食习惯不同 (T爱吃煎炸，鸡皮照吃、S不吃煎炸，去掉鸡皮才吃)。

我不需要用科学的理论来解释，因为这是爱情的魔力。爱情真的能改变一个人。它能让你心甘情愿去接受、包容对方。好伟大！

其实，两个人太相同也未必是件好事。那就像看到自己的影子一样。日子久了，火花也渐渐淡了。

好羡慕T和S这对小恋人。他们在一起真的好开心，好开心。

T和S，我祝福你们

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A new pair of black leather dress shoes with cushioned paddings inside, swank leather interior and superb laces. Classy, stylish and pleasing to the eye. When you walk out of the house wearing them, you feel like a million bucks. After all, it’s at least a $138 pair of shoes. What more can one ask for right?

Wrong…so wrong. One can ask for a lot more…esp when it comes to comfort. The shoe must not hurt your feet. You wear the shoe. Not the other way round. The shoe doesn’t wear you (down).

I don’t know if there’s any truth in it. Some call it an old wives’ tale. Others laugh it off as mere stupidity. I’m talking about the practice of biting your new shoe before you wear it.

Biting your new shoes before you wear them is supposed to be a precautionary measure you take to prevent the new shoe from ‘biting’ you back. ‘Biting’ back here refers to the blisters, corns and other feet problems you could possibly get from wearing that pair of new shoes. It’s telling the new shoes who’s boss.

A colleague was parading in his new pair of shoes. It’s branded, by the way. That was last week. Fast forward to this morning. He’s limping. He didn’t bite his shoe. And by not doing so, gave his new shoes the chance to bite his feet. According to him, the shoe cut deep into his skin.

The unofficial broadcaster of the office subsequently got wind of this and started a straw poll of the remnants of the office (three-quarters are on leave) if they bit their new shoe before wearing it…

If you ask me if I bite my new shoes before I wear them, I don’t. But I will prepare some Hansaplast just in case my heels feel uncomfortable.

I think I can make do with a new pair of shoes as well…minus the biting…

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I’m amazed that some people still think there’s such a thing called a free lunch in this world. To be honest, nothing is free. Even if you want to breathe in fresh air, you have got to pay (think oxygen treatments)

So when this young colleague of mine came grumbling that he was again being bossed around by another senior colleague, I merely laughed.

Finally, I broke my silence and told him.

Me: “Who ask you to be greedy? People buy you biscuits, chocolates & sweets you gian huh? When you take that time happy right?” (Gian = hokkien term for crave/desire)

He: “But I thought XX was nice to me mah…that’s why buy biscuits, chocolates & sweets for me to eat…” Yah right.

Now he knows. There is a hidden agenda behind these seemingly innocent little gifts. The message is simple – once you receive, you are obliged to do work for me. Who in the right frame of mind would turn philanthropist on a regular basis and shower you with little sweet treats? He or she doesn’t print money you know.

But I guess some people never learn. Will they continue to want to receive these items in the future and be used in the future? You bet. The heart is willing and the mind is weak. This is the best combination to tempt a man.

Then this young colleague turned to me asked, “how come you never buy me biscuits, chocolates & sweets huh?”

I was livid but managed to maintain my composure, giving him this creative response. “I’ll go the extra mile. I’ll give you more than biscuits, chocolates & sweets. I’ll give you cash in denominations of $5…How many pieces do you want?”

He understood my implicit meaning, kept his mouth shut and got back to work. For the record, $5 equals one slap. To balance it, you need at least $10 – 2 slaps across the face, left and right.

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It’s an open secret that I’m moving house. It’s been decided but the date’s like not quite fixed yet. Finally, finally, finally, I can confirm it. I am really moving. The date’s fixed for middle of next month…

Moving house is no simple feat – I think it is as stressful, if not more stressful than preparing for a marriage, looking into death arrangements or anticipating the birth of a child. IMHO, these are the big four in anyone’s life.

I’m on leave this week. But this week’s leave is not spent strolling down the beaches of Bali, being pampered in Bangkok or shopping in Shanghai. Instead, I’m holed up at home emptying my cupboards, wardrobes, chests, cabinets and drawers of their belongings. My best friends now are my empty carton boxes, masking tapes and marker pens. After getting chummy with my best friends, the next step is to decide which items to bring along and which ones to discard. This is not easy as we always tell ourselves we should keep something less it comes in handy one day. But that elusive one day never quite seems to arrive.

Labeling boxes is really an art in itself – you don’t just pack and seal. You got to do a stocktake to see what’s inside and then come up with a categorization system so that you don’t mix the boxes up. I’ve decided to colour code my boxes so that I know where all the stuff goes at the new place. This is on top of coming up with an inventory list of all boxes listing its contents.

There are two categories of items I’m particularly concerned about – clothes and toys. Sorry, I won’t anyone to touch these sacred two.

Speaking of clothes, I have enough clothes to rival a major shopping centre. It’s true. Three wardrobes of clothes – first wardrobe for casual look, second wardrobe for smart work look and third wardrobe for all the bottoms. That’s why I found the perfect excuse to get a walk-in wardrobe in my new place. I know it’s every girl’s dream to own a walk-in wardrobe. I think this misperception needs to be corrected – it’s also every respectable modern man’s dream!

Imagine walking into a room and then having everything laid out neatly in front of your eyes for you to feast on. It instantly lifts the spirit. Take your time to pick, select till you are happy, then prance in front of the full-length mirror before you step out to meet the world. That’s going to be my little sanctuary. I’m really looking forward to it

What’s a big boy like me doing with toys? I’m not talking about Barbie, Playdoh or kuti kuti. I’m talking about toys of yesteryears which have appreciated in resell value as well as adult collectibles. The former would refer to toys like matchbox cars, smurfs, star wars collectibles etc while the latter would refer to bearbrick. I still have the toys I used to play with while young. Dad and I had foresight not to throw them away. Even star wars is the first edition which is worth money now, not the cheapo plastic replicas you see now.

So where’s all these toys going? Into the three giant glass showcases which I had custom-built in the walk-in gallery. Yes, I have a walk-in gallery as well, to rival the professional toy museums. Then I can charge a fee like the professional ones to anyone who wants to view them. Brilliant idea :p

After four days of packing, I think packing is still manageable. Perhaps unpacking will prove to be a more mammoth task. Somehow the old cupboards seem to be able to store more as compared to its newer cousins. Funny but true. If all else fails, then I’m going to have a garage sale (idea copied from my neighbour who lives down the street) or give them away (sob sob…)

My house resembles a warehouse now. I see carton boxes here, carton boxes there, carton boxes everywhere. Mostly empty carton boxes. Horizontally challenged people are absolutely banned from entering.

I’ve received many ‘happy packing’ sms-es. Ok, I’ll be truly happy when I finish packing. I’m less than one-quarter done…Panic packing sounds more like it now…Shucks!!! Going back to my packing.

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It’s Christmas time again. A time to wish for peace and joy in this increasingly uncertain world. Climate change is perhaps the newest kid on the block that is cause for worry for most governments.

There is never a white Christmas in Singapore, where you can see and enjoy the snow.The closest you can ever get is to get down to Snow City (where artificial snow awaits you) or be contented with a frozen indoor ice skating ring square located at Novena Square’s Christmas themed Snowscape Christmas.

While snow does fall in countries like nearby Hong Kong (hey, they are now having the winter holiday packages right? I know L is there enjoying herself now), Singapore is at best experiencing a wet wet Christmas. It’s been raining perpetually every day since the last 3 weeks. And the rain’s been pretty punctual too – always in the afternoons,and sometimes in the mornings and evenings. So much water so close to home, but rain never succeeds in spoiling my Christmas mood.

It’s that time of the year I guess where you can take things a little easy, be generous with yourself (after all, you’ve worked hard for the last 11.5 months, haven’t you?) and take stock of what you have accomplished this year. December is always the time of reflection for me.

It’s also the time where I try to plan as many activities into the last week as possible. Going through my list, I see names of friends who, like me, have been too busy with our own lives to squeeze some time to meet up for a meal or drink. This is the time to play catch-up and meet all the people whom you’ve always wanted to meet but never quite found the time to before the year is over.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

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It’s Christmas Eve and it’s time to send sms-es & emails to friends again. After all, we don’t always wish each other good tidings that often unless a suitable festive season or time comes along. I do have a bunch of friends who send me motivational quotes on a regular basis but guess they are a rare breed indeed).

Most of the conventional Christmas greetings will go something along these lines…

“Merry Christmas & Happy 2008. May your everyday in the new year be filled with joy & laughter.”

The thought is there. But it’s a tad too boring…

Mine is more unconventional. Creative if you like to call it. It reads…

“If you are expecting a Christmas present, sorry there ain’t any. But what you will get instead are showers of blessings & my constant thoughts. Happy holidays.”

I don’t like to follow what other people say and do. I don’t like to blend in with the crowd. I like to stand out and be different coz that makes life more fun, enjoyable and memorable. Happy holidays!

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I don’t know if it was the right thing to do. After all, he was just another stranger. And here I was thinking, shouldn’t I be minding my own business? Something in me told me to just be a man and do the right thing (hey, how come this phrase sounds so familiar?) Research has shown that if you teach someone something, you retain up to 90% of what you have learned. Ok, I’ll do it. Here goes…

The next thing I knew, I was explaining to this guy who was sharing the cable machine with me the right way to work his triceps and biceps. He was doing it wrong from step one. And no matter how heavy he trained (yes, he was huffing and puffing away – can see it from his expression), his targeted muscles would still not grow. Worse, injuries could occur.

I don’t profess to be a qualified gym instructor. But at least I know the right way to train so that my muscles scream for mercy the next day. Sorry, I’m not a sado-masochistic guy but when the age old saying of ‘no pain, no gain’ still holds true. I came across this more interesting tagline – “pain is temporary, glory is permanent.”

Ok, I’m no aspiring Arnold wannabe. I’m into the Men’s Health magazine cover page model look. Think lean and fit.

It sure feels good teaching others and helping them achieve their aim. Sure hope the universe too helps me out by putting me on Men’s Health cover soon and getting a billionaire to mentor me so that I can learn the recipe to creating wealth. And then I can teach others, and by doing so, retain 90% of what I have learned

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We all have secrets which we keep deep within us. Some get unravelled over time. Some stay buried forever within.

I discovered Mum’s secret by chance during one of our regular chit-chat sessions. It started off rather innocently when I asked why I didn’t have a younger sibling.

As this was not the first time I had asked this question, I had more or less expected the same answer. I was a difficult child. I was naughty. I was always clamouring for attention. The explanation would always never steer very far beyond these standard responses.Yes, the standard answers were used. As expected.

Then the real deal, aka the truth, the secret that was buried for decades came out. Mum’s face was stoid when she said it.I heard it but had to confirm it. After the news sank in, I was visualising the image of the younger brother I never will have.

Forget about the “I was a difficult child. I was naughty. I was always clamouring for attention” liners. They were all excuses used to hush me up.

This is Mum’s secret. She consulted the fortune-teller who predicted that the next baby would still be a male child should she conceive. As Mum had always wanted a girl, she decided not to conceive after having had me.

I know that when mothers are carrying baby boys in the womb, the boys consume more nutrients from the mothers, thus causing the calcium levels in the bones to deplete at a faster rate. That’s why mothers who have baby boys age faster.

But I can never quite agree with Mum’s theory that boys are not so attentive as compared to girls. She wanted a girl because girls are closer to the parents and would buy them supper on a regular basis. Oh well. It’s only supper, right? I can do that too. But then, sorry Mum. No supper for you coz it’s not good to have a heavy meal before bedtime. Your son practises the no-carbs after 8pm rule remember? I think Mum knows I will never broach this topic again as now I already know the real truth.

I too have secrets of my own which for the time being stays buried within me. Whether or not they will get exposed to light one day depends on how long I intend to keep them.

Can I keep a secret? You bet I can.

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All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth!

Gee, if I could only
have my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
“Merry Christmas.”

This is the lyrics of the song by Donald Yetter Gardner. A little silly coz when he wrote it back in 1944, most of the kids he was teaching had at least one front tooth missing. A little silly coz this song was picked up by the whole country.

But I think we have to change the lyrics of the song now. It’s fast approaching Christmas now and guess what? I’ve noticed colleagues sporting new spectacles! So all they want for Christmas are new spectacles. This is interesting. Very interesting. Here’s my modified version of Gardner’s original number. See if it grows on you

All I want for Christmas
are my new spectacles,
my new spectacles,
see my new spectacles!Gee, if I could only
have my new spectacles,
then I could see you
much more clearly…

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