Dear child of mine, listen to what I say.
If you listen, come back, please do not stray.
It was never easy to bring you up.
Life was bitter, something which you hated.
I tried so hard to give you all I could.
But you wanted much more than I could give.
You said you felt deprived of your childhood.
But which mother wants her child to suffer?
You fought, you stole, you robbed. I felt saddened.
But I never once gave up hope on you.
I had no choice then but to turn you in.
Now that you are in jail, I hope you learn.
The things you did, though they may break my heart…
You know deep down, I loved you from the start.

Lionel L
(30 Dec 1998)

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Friends are for life and keeps – that I was told.
When I found him, I thought I had struck gold.
Someone I can truely call friend, best friend.
We cried, we laughed. Comfort after sorrow.
Happy back then, I thought friendships would grow.
“Even the best of friends must part one day.”
I cried to think he did not call to say
goodbye. He left. I thought he was my friend.
After a marked absence of five long years,
he walked into my life again today.
Someone I thought I knew, but now no more.
To me right now, he is just a stranger.
He talks to me, but I just walk away.
I hear him shout, “I thought you were my friend!”

Lionel L
(17 Dec 1998)

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I know that I have sinned once more today.
Adam must have felt this way too before
after he knew that Eve led him astray.
I was tempted, just like Adam today.
I thought I could say no, please stop, it’s wrong.
The mind says no, but the flesh is not strong.
It craves, it wants, it now speeds up the thoughts.
Do it. You know it’s safe, you won’t be caught.
Just two minutes later, the job was done.
Leaving the place, I guessed that that was fun.
But now I feel in me sadness throughout.
Fear, guilt, utter regret living it out.
I am evil. I know it breaks your heart.
But I swear now I’ll make a clean new start.

Lionel L
(16 Dec 1998)

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I walk into the realm you weaved for me,
willing of course. I know that you mean well.
You now unveil my life for me to see,
with all the pre-mapped plans you planned so well;
from birth to death, every chapter laid out.
I need not once decide on what to do,
or how to do. I just do as I’m told.
Like the captain, you plan the speed I row.
Slow down! Faster! I swing from meek to bold;
steering me where you want me next to go.
But then the best laid plans can still go wrong.
I am tired waiting for your wind blow.
There is no choice but to jump off the ship.
I don’t regret. I live my life my way.

Lionel L
(07 Dec 1998)

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I know I’m not someone you deem as bright.
I learnt to talk only when I was five,
which made you so worried. You thought I might
end up stupid or dumb and thus not strive
to live up to my name that you gave me.
All through those years, I learnt how to endure
the pain you brought to me when you compared
me to others whom you praised as so smart.
But through these years, these smart fellows fell down
when each raced far too fast to reach the end.
Despite my slow start which then made you frown,
I have managed to strive in my ascend.
And now, I must worry about my son.

Lionel L
(07 Dec 1998)

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